True Woman 101: Total Makeover

 

This week we took a look at the makeover God would want us to have for us to learn to "dress" according to his divine design. 

For some, the idea of being a True Woman might seem unpleasant, or at least not something you really want to commit to for fear of the consequences. But as we saw this week, when we look at womanhood as something "Good" that God delights in, it helps to change our perspective. As God's creation, we are remarkable, wonderfully made, magnificent, wonderful creatures!

I guess I don't really think of being a "True Woman" as unpleasant, just difficult. When you are taught by the world to be the exact opposite of what God designed you to be, it's really hard to get back to what God had in mind. Lots of bad habits to break, lots of thinking to renew.

When I think of a good poem, I think of elegant words put together just write in order to form a beautiful and cohesive whole, with the sort of imagery that helps you paint a picture in your mind and evokes emotions and thoughts, and even stimulates your senses. And that's what God had in mind when he created man and woman. We are a vital part of his perfect love story. 

When a woman is devoted to a man,  she wants to spend time with him, is willing to make sacrifices for him, tell him and others of her love and devotion for him, and is completely faithful to him. Her heart belongs to him.

If we are truly dedicated to Christ, the same should be true. We should have a desire to spend time w/ him, in his Word and in prayer. We should be willing to make sacrifices for him, to do his will no matter the cost. We should tell be telling others of our love and devotion for Him. And we should be faithful to him. Our hearts should belong to him, not the things of this world.

Unfortunately, there will always be sin to deal with, and as women, we have some that we are especially prone to.  

Being reverent, NOT slanderers. As women, we are prone to gossip. That of course is a sin. Having and exercising self-control. Loving our husbands and children and putting them before ourselves (or even others). Being pure. Caring for our homes and making them an inviting place for others. Being kind and submissive.

Instead of being harsh and critical with our words, we are to be gentle and responsive. Instead of placing ourselves and our wants and desires at the top of our priority list and striving for what we want (sometimes at the expense of our family), we are to be sure to place our family as a priority. And of course, we should be more focused on our character and living a life of purity and becoming more like Christ, not tirelessly working to preserve or improve our outward appearance.

Of course men are also called to overcome their gender-specific sin tendencies.

Being sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled and sound in faith, love and steadfastness. Men are to be good leaders-that is, there to have integrity and practice self control. If they're power hungry, abusive, tyrannical or out of control, then they're not practicing Godly leadership. One who leads out of love and a desire to serve practices what Christ spoke of when he said that to be a leader you must first be a servant.

As with all things, there are some common misconceptions about the biblical call for women to embrace the traits of gentleness, quietness, and amenability.

Gentleness is often seen as weakness or meekness. Being quiet is seen as being seen and not heard. Amenable is often misinterpreted as meaning you have to be a doormat.

God created women with a specific design in mind, but he also created them with a variety of personalities. The traits he created women to display were to reflect the heart of his son, and that can come across regardless of your personality. An extrovert can display gentleness just as well as an introvert. A "loud" person can have a quiet heart. You can be a strong willed amenable person.

For me, the area where I most see the need for a spiritual makeover is in the area of quietness. Though I have a quiet disposition externally, I do not always have a quiet heart, especially when faced with difficult circumstances. I'm quick to fret and worry myself sick. I also struggle with gentleness. I need to build more of a trust in God's goodness and control over the situation rather than relying on my own strength.

 And remember, "the cultivation of spiritual beauty requires consistent, Spirit-inspired, grace-enabled, Christ-trusting effort." Unlike all the makeover shoes today, this kind of makeover does not happen in a few hours. It's a lifetime pursuit. 

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 1 Peter 3:4

Confessions of the Condo: Ugh

I feel like I've been under a great deal of stress lately. My body is feeling it. My mind has had enough of it. And my spirit needs refreshment. 

~Sunday started w/ me staying home from church. I had one of your run of the mill things I knew I need antibiotics for, so I went to Urgent Care. They told me nothing was wrong.

~Sunday night Benjamin was up in the middle of the night. I actually had to get up and sit with him for an hour or so until he went back to sleep. He hardly ever does that. I hardly ever take naps, but I did on Monday.

~Monday we got a call from our realtor telling us "if" we could come up on an offer we made on a house last week, we might be able to make it work.  We had already offered our top dollar based on what we thought it was worth, and this was more. Lots to think about to say the least. We have been racking our minds all week trying to figure out what to do.

~Monday night our tenants called to say their A/C was not working. Really? Now? Thankfully Kev was able to get a hold of the repair guy and get it fixed quickly. I couldn't imagine the poor things trying to sleep in this heat without air.

~Tuesday I made another trip to the Doc b/c I was sure I needed antibiotics. I was right.

~Wednesday morning (I guess that would be today) my Dad called and told me my horse might have to be put down. I guess he had got into something and torn up his leg really bad. Thankfully my Mom called not too much later and said they were able to sew him up, but he would have a several month recovery.

We called our Realtor this afternoon, I'm on antibiotics, Benjamin is sleeping well again, the tenants AC is working, and my horse is still alive. I'm hoping we're on the upswing.

True Woman 101: Hear Me Roar

  

This week we took a look at Women's Movement and it's influence in shaping our culture and ideas about womanhood. Although I am probably unaware of most of the feminist influence in my own life, I can think of several ways that feminist ideas have influenced my thinking.

For one, I grew up in a home with a working Mom. Having a working Mom, I had always been career minded, and was encouraged to find one that would suit me and that I would enjoy. But being a homemaker and/or stay at home Mom was never really considered.

Additionally, the exposure I had in college to feminist ideas has probably influenced my thinking as well. I have read Betty Friedan's book the Feminist Mystique, took a Feminist Art Class, and had lots of exposure to feminist ideas during my college years having gone to a fairly liberal college. We had Take Back the Night events, Women's Studies majors and minors, gender based groups, etc.

In terms of the feminist ideas in college, I didn't really see it as positive. In all actuality, it seemed kind of radical. It was pretty much opposite of what Scripture would paint as a picture for womanhood. Be empowered. Be strong. Be better than men. It's a competition. Trying to prove ourselves and that we are better than men. That gender definitions are up to us. That power and strength and independence is the what we should strive for.

The ideal in Scripture seems to have become the total opposite of today's ideal. For women today, it's acceptable to be sassy, brash, immodest, loud, rebellious and materialistic. The ideal woman of Scripture doesn't really worry about adoring herself with fancy things. Instead she has a quiet and gentle countenance, a compassionate heart and hardworking hands.

For me as a Christian, I definitely would seek to be the scripturally based woman, although it's tempting at times to be like today's ideal. The lastest trends are not always modest, for example, or as modest as we should be. And its tempting to shop rather than work, or feel that we are entitled to shopping because of our hard work. When I feel down or am having a bad day, I like to turn to shopping to make me feel better. Or desserts. Or coffee. I may not end up spending a lot of money, but I do waste time. I may not binge, but it definitely does not make me feel better to eat fattening foods.
 

It's a constant struggle. But God's design is good and perfect, and we simply must trust that his ways our best when the culture tries to tell us otherwise. The biggest problem of course with today's ideal and the things listed above is that they are only temporary. You may feel good for awhile, but afterwards you will be racked with guilt and pain. God's design promises life, and life more abundantly. He has eternity in mind, whereas the culture seems only concerned about the moment.

The book stated that statistics have shown that as women have gained more education, more economic independence, more power, and more freedom, they have become less and less happy.

Perhaps this is because they are looking to the wrong thing's for fulfillment. It's not what God created us for, so it's not the answer. It's kind of like these things are at one end of the spectrum, and God is at the other. As we move more and more toward these things, we move further and further away from God and embracing his design for us. Our ultimate fulfillment is in God, and in having a relationship with him, not in embracing and promoting ourselves and our own strength.

For some, the concept of true womanhood presents a “Fear Factor.” Perhaps this is because it calls us to turn away from and let go of all of our own ideas of what we think will fulfill us, and instead look to God and his ways. We may have been told and taught a lot of different things, but we have to turn and trust that His ways are best.

I tell myself that God has my best in mind, but it seems like I doubt it at times. I need to trust that whatever the Lord calls me to, he will give me the strength and the desire to do it, whether it's as a wife, a Mom, or just being an everyday woman of God. It's not about me, or my strength, or how tough I can pretend to be, or taking about care of myself. It's about doing all things through the only one who can truly give me strength to do it, and giving him the glory for it. Because when it comes down to it, that's what it's all about: giving him the glory. Not getting it for ourselves. 

True Woman 101: Battle of the Sexes

  

This week we delve into the raging war between male and female, also known as the battle of the sexes. We took a look at where it began, how it's affected us, and why it continues.

To start things off, we took a look at what was amiss in Adam and Eve’s behavior during Eve’s interaction with the Serpent. 

For starters, they acted totally independent of each other, and tried to blame others rather than owning up to their wrong choices. The serpant intentionally circumvented the mans' authority by going straight to the woman, and the woman acted on her own behalf instead of consulting her husband. This displayed an attitude of independence rather than interdependence (God's intended design for their relationship).

This led to some consequences. Gender specific consequences. And with it came the inititial components of the battle. 

Pain in childbearing for women, pain and toil for men. Women were also given a spirit of independence, so that "(their) desire would be for (their) husband, but he will rule over (them)." In their independence, women seek to control their husbands and their circumstances, robbing men of the leadership role for which they were created and causing a great deal of strife in the male-female relationship.

Sin causes us to want to live outside God's original design. In Eve's original sin, she shows no observance of the man's authority or of God's-she simply takes matters into her own hands. It's the same with women today. They desire to exert their independence which often times means walking all over men and their ego's, with no regard of God's intended design. Women desire control and power at their husband's expense. Men, on the other hand, abuse their leadership role by acting chauvinistic and arrogant rather than lovingly leading. Sin twists the the positive desires that God intended for men and women into a negative desire to resist, rebel, and abuse.

As a woman, I can attest to these consequences personally. The pain in childbearing becomes a painful reality fairly obviously when you have a baby. It starts with the pain and discomfort of pregnancy, which ends with an incredible amount of pain and discomfort. There's also the emotional pain you feel as a mother-when you can't take away your children's pain, when you see them going through physical pain and difficulty, or as they get older and endure the trials and troubles of life.

In terms of the having a desire to overthrow your husband sort of thing, I think that's something we all struggle with. How often have I talked over my husband, not taken the time to listen to him, complained, had a bad attitude, etc? Or over any man for that matter? I've definitely done it with my Dad as well (hello teenage years). It's the cry of our culture to exert ourselves as women-our independence, worth, entitlement-we deserve respect, yes, but not at the expense of men's.

At times, we may be tempted to view men as the enemy. Personally, I don't think we can really blame men when Eve was the one who 1. Listened to the Lie, 2. Acted totally independent of her husband in the matter and 3. Ate the fruit.

Adam shouldn't have eaten the fruit either, but Eve's the one that did it first. Both made the wrong choice and chose to sin. When we view men as the enemy, we fail to identify the real problem, which is sin itself and our own choice to indulge in it. As long as we see men as "the enemy" we can't experience the interdependent relationship that God designed us for.
 

When you see a man who abuses his power as a leader, it makes you want to fight back and take the power away from them. When you here of a man being abusive of a woman, it arouses feelings of anger and defensiveness. But these type of men are not embracing God's design. The key is in remembering what is really to blame, and that is sin. God has given men a great responsibilty in properly exerting their leadership and strength, and when they abuse that power and give in to sin, we can know with certainty that they will be called to account for their actions. 

The women’s movement encouraged women to do womanhood their own way. But the obliteration or self-definition of gender roles is not the solution to the pain of womanhood.As the book states, "at the heart of the women's lib/feminist movement was the idea that to be happy, women needed to be "liberated" from age-old ideas about womanhood...They needed to fight against male dominance, and seize the power and right to self-define." 

Women felt that they were being oppressed, and that it was men's fault. They embraced the power and right to self-define rather than looking to the one who created them to define their purpose, which has now resulted in damaged marriages, failure to embrace the fulfillment found in motherhood, and general moral decline. The male-female relationship has been severely damaged by the demand to define for ourselves our roles and responsibilities of men and women.

For more on the "Battle of the Sexes," see the True Woman 101 tab.

Confessions of the Condo: Snippets

It hasn't been the best week (or two, or three) here at the condo. Rather than rant and rave, which I surely will if given the chance, I will share some snippets of life here at the condo as of late:

~when I got a coupon for a $2.99 haircut at the new Great Clips down the way, I figured why not? Let's just say I got what I paid for.

It WILL grow back.

~Benjamin hates the pool. Last week he had an hour and a half meltdown after being there for 5 minutes and never actually getting in the water. I've been there twice and have yet to actually get in.

Maybe pools are overrated.

~the cold that never ends (seriously, why do I always get colds in July?)

 I think my body is trying to tell me something.

~the hubby's favorite phrases: "just another kick in the head" and (when asked how things are going) "top knotch marvelous" (when Kevin resorts to sarcasm, you know it's bad)

At least we're in this together. 

~The blower fan for the AC in the van went out the day it started hitting 90 degrees.

Praise the Lord for AC. And 3 vehicles.

~I drove by a house last Saturday (we always do that before we look at it w/ the realtor), thinking it just might be "the one." It wasn't. Fifty miles of backroads later (at least it seemed that way), it didn't look near as impressive.

Be thankful for the no's...

~Every Sunday we drive past a church that has one of those sign boards out front. It started with

I will not fail you.


Then


Wait patiently for me. 


Now


Humble yourself before me.

This song has been in my head this week. Which is weird considering I haven't actually listened to it for quite some time. I hope it will encourage your heart as it has been encouraging mine:

True Woman 101: Snake In My Garden

This week we studied the effect's of the Serpent's schemes in corrupting our divine design. We began to see his goal to destroy manhood, womanhood, marriage and family, and how, by God's grace, we can reclaim the beauty of God's divine design.

We began by identifying the original and intended attributes of the relationship between the man and the woman, and ultimately, between man and his Creator. We saw how he intended a husband and wife to experience kinship, commitment, unity, communion, authenticity, and purity.

Of all these attributes, for me, commitment is one that really appeals to me. In a day and age where there are fewer and fewer who are willing to keep and uphold the commitment they make to one another, it's really saying something when you see a couple that is keeping that promise. Jesus of course demonstrated the ultimate commitment by sacrificing his own life for us, so it's pretty awesome that marriage is a reflection of that. Just as we are joined together in marriage, so also are we joined with him when we receive him as our Savior, and unlike so many marriage's in our culture, we can know with absolute certainty that he will never leave or forsake us.

The first male-female relationship perfectly put God on display. They were joined together in perfect unity. Just as we are united with Christ and made spotless by his blood, so also were they united and pure. There was no arguing, no threat of one of them leaving, no selfishness or ill will, it was a perfect relationship. That is God-selfless, loving, committed, perfect in holiness-their relationship perfectly displayed God's most important attributes.

Satan doesn't want God to be glorified, so he sought to destroy God's perfect design. In doing so, he went straight to that which was created in God's very image-man. By marring the perfect relationship between man and woman and ultimately God and man, Satan destroyed the perfect union between God and his creation. Ultimately God would restore this union through Christ, but man would forever live and struggle with the consequences of sin. 

His sales pitch was compelling to say the least.  Harmless. Attractive. Promising. Sin always has a way of captivating our attention. It appears good. It appears harmless. But it's full of consequences.

Before I met my husband, I really didn't think finding a man that was strong spiritually was really that important, as long as he was attractive and we had similar interests, I thought my faith was strong enough to compensate. So wrong! As I started to pray to find a man that would love and respect me and my faith, and encourage me spiritually and eventually found my husband, I realized how critical it is to find a person that will strengthen and support you in your faith. I'm so thankful that God always has our best in mind and keeps us from making some of the worst mistakes we could make.

"I'll do it my way." How often is that our attitude? We leave God out of the picture and think it's going to go well for us. When we try to do things apart from God though, we miss the whole point of his plan for us and finding what will truly fulfill us and bring us joy. When we believe that our way is best, we reveal that we don't really believe God has our best in mind, that he isn't loving, kind or good. It's a totally self-centered way of thinking where we become our own God and think we have the right to make our own decisions b/c we think only we know what's best for us. It's totally absent of a trust in a loving Creator who created us with a purpose in mind and is always working things together for our good.

Of course Satan's lies aren't always so obvious. He's embedded all kinds of them into our culture that are in total opposition to God's design. 

Outward beauty is what defines us. 

We are not equal to men. 

Independence and strength are qualities that women should strive for.

As is stated in Genesis 3, "And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you." Women have stomped all over men's ego's trying to exert their independence. To quote the book, "We often have an "us" versus "them" mentality. Women ridicule and belittle men. Men objectify and demean women. We argue about who is better. We compete. We point fingers and blame. We forget that we're connected-that we're in this together."

I have listened to these lies, dwelt on and believed many of them and even acted on some. I might have an okay attitude toward men in general, but I often have a lousy one with my husband. We are interdependent about some things, but I'm still holding on to some of my independent tendencies. I could definitely work on cultivating a more respectful attitude toward him by not arguing, supporting, encouraging, and just letting him lead. Or even just letting him talk! Just learning to listen to him rather than constantly babbling on and not interrupting would be a good start.

As a woman, I  have blamed my circumstances and other people (how I was raised, the role models I've had) for the choices I've made, rather than owning up to them and realizing that it was MY choice in who and what I let define me. Putting on the new nature means first owning up to my role in my poor choices, offering forgiveness, casting off the sinful habits they have led to, and putting on the things of Christ.  

With his help, we truly can reclaim the beauty of God's divine design. 

"Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy. Ephesians 4:21-24

Confessions of the Condo: Hello Summer

~I remember our landlord commenting when we signed the lease that if we were still here in the summer that we might be able access to the association's pool. I think I thought at that time that well, that sounds nice, but I'm not planning on being here that long.

Last week he showed up at our door with our pool key.

~Benjamin is in love with water. Not the swimming pool kind-the river kind. He loves driving by the river so he can point at the water and the buh's (boats). Whenever we go to leave, he wants to know if we're going to see wah wah and buh's. I think this started because we have been driving the length of river drive on our way to church, so he got ample views of the river (at least until they started construction and were forced to take the Locust street detour-not near as interesting).

~Looking at our entirely full calendar and sensing my husband's lack of desire for the added stress, I have put aside the vacation plans for now. Instead, I've decided to get out enjoy all that the QC has to offer (really, there is a lot!)

This week we took advantage of Funday Monday at the QC Botanical Center. I like to take photos, so I thought this was a place that we could both enjoy and I had always wanted to check it out. Afterwards, we went down to Schweibert Park on the Rock Island riverfront to check out the wah wah and buh's and see what the kid's fountain thing was all about. It may be in Rock Island, but it was actually pretty nice!

P.S. If you have not heard of Funday Mondays, the Putnam, Family Museum, Botanical Center and Riverside Aquatic Center are all offering free admission on Mondays until August 13th-see http://familycu.com/fun for more info...

~Right as we were getting ready to leave for the Botanical Center, Benjamin took a spill and cut his lip. Blood everywhere. Screaming because I had the audacity to dab his lip with a wad of toilet paper. Sigh.

~As I write this, Benjamin and I are sitting in his pillow pile in our pj's watching the Pooh movie. It's just one of those days/weeks.

Gonna be a hot one out there this week-stay cool!

True Woman 101: Sugar & Spice

                            

This week in our we took a look at God's design for women.

There are a lot of depictions of women that we are fed that are so far from reality. If we look to TV, magazines, or other media, women are often portrayed as attractive, intelligent, strong and independent. They have successful careers, but not necessarily successful marriages. They balance motherhood with the most successful positions, always sporting the lastest styles and never have a hair out of place. They are flawlessly beautiful (or at least as much so as photoshop can make them).

It may seem great to think of women as beautiful, strong, and independent, but its not the design God had in mind. It may seem attractive, but when it comes down to it, it's not what's going to fulfill us.  Our physical appearance and our outward success is not what matters. It's about our hearts, and our love for others-shining the light of Christ as we love as he has loved. What's important is not how beautiful, successful, or generally "good" we feel about ourselves, but whether we are bringing glory to God, which cannot be done when we are trying to follow the world's standards for womanhood.

When it comes to gender differences, there are even obvious differences between male and female bodies that point to our God given design. Males were created to be physically stronger. Women were created to be soft. Not weaker, just softer. It's like pillows. Men are the extra firm, and women are the big soft fluffy kind. Men were created stronger b/c they are given the task of providing and protecting. Women were created to aid the man in creating and nurturing life.

While this thought may make some go on the defense, I don't think the idea of "softness" needs to be something we get defensive about. Being soft does not mean being weak, it just means being welcoming and nurturing. No one wants to deal with a harsh and rigid woman (or man for that matter). As promoters of the gospel, softness is essential because we want to shine the love and grace of Christ.

Along with the bent toward softness, women were also created to have a responsive, welcoming spirit. While some may view responsiveness as a negative or submissive trait, in actuality, it is quite a positive trait. Allow me to illustrate:

If my husband and I are having a discussion and he presents and idea and I immediately shoot him down, then that's a fairly negative response. If I take the time to listen and hear him out though, think about it, and then ask a few questions, that seems like a much better way of responding. It's all about our attitude and heart in responding. We can disagree but still do it in a "soft" and respectful way, whether it be with our husbands or any other person we might be dealing with. When it gets down to it, being loud and assertive and generally self promoting is not a good way of shining the light of Christ, and ultimately, that's what it's all about.

Along with a bent towards having a soft and responsive spirit, God also created woman with a distinctively feminine “bent” for the home. Rather than meaning women are meant to "stay" in the home, this simply means that women have a way of creating a "homey" atmosphere because they are specially made to create an environment that nurtures and invites life. Every woman can do this, married or single-we can all create an atmosphere that welcomes others and speaks to and invites them to share their hearts, whether it be in a house, apartment, or even in a public setting. It's all about having a soft, nurturing, responsive spirit. If that is our heart, than everything around us will be a natural overflow of that bent.

I may be a "home-maker" and a mom, but many of these things don't come easily to me. I was raised more towards the independent and "strong" woman bent, so it's something that I have to fight against, especially since getting married. But I'm working to embrace God's design, and I can honestly say I've never felt more fulfilled. Many of these ideas are in direct opposition to the world's views, but I would challenge you to honestly consider them knowing that these things are just a glimpse into the beauty of God's divine design! 

“Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty that depends on fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should be known for the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.” 1 Peter 3:3-4 

*As always, see the "True Woman" tab for more!

Confessions & Lessons: In Other's Words

 Here are some snippets from things I've heard or read this week:

~ (speaking on the story of Jonah) God has given you a clear assignment, but you are running in the opposite direction. Don't do it! God desires only your good. Just follow his direction.

Running in the opposite direction...

~The Truth is that God has promised to give us everything we need...The Truth is that contentment is not found in having everything we think we want but in choosing to be satisfied with what God has already provided. The Truth is that those who insist on having their own way often end up with unnecessary heartache, while those who wait on the Lord always get his best.

Contentment is not found in having everything we think we want but in CHOOSING to be satisfied with what God has ALREADY provided.

~(God) created women with a remarkable capacity to create an environment conducive to welcoming and nurturing life. How can your home be used as a place to nurture life? (Your "home" may be a house, apartment, double-wide trailer, dorm room, prison cell, hospital room, or retirement home!)


 Create an environment conducive to welcoming and nurturing...how can your "home" be used?

~ (from the Kendrick's brothers, creators of Courageous, Fireproof etc) You know—and what was most important to us, when we sat there and we asked ourselves, “If we could have anything,”—more distribution, more budget, better acting, whatever it is—“what would we choose?”

We agreed that we would choose the favor of God, above everything because if you have the favor of—and this applies to everything we do, not just films—if you have the favor of God on it, and God‟s able to do whatever He wants, and He gets the credit, then, it will do well or whatever He wants it to do.

So, we said, “If that‟s true, we have to chase the favor of God more than anything else.” The Lord is pleased when we seek Him and wait on Him. Then, He just picks the time, and He unloads on us the direction to go. Then, He starts opening doors we could not have opened without Him.

CHOOSE the favor of God...the Lord is pleased when we seek Him and wait on Him...opening doors we could not have opened without Him.

~(from Joni Eareckson Tada) "And my life—your  life—is to please God: to exude the fragrance of a life yielded, submitted, acquiesced, surrendered and deferred to Him, and to do it so sweetly, not with a sour disposition; not with dragging your feet, but no, with a sweet surrender. No room for an attitude that grumbles and whines. Nothing pleasing when you smile on one hand, but on the other, are simmering with resentment deep down inside."

...to do is sweetly, not with a sour disposition; not with dragging your feet, but no, with a sweet surrender.

I could say that I'm working to accept my circumstances, but I don't think I can "work" to accept my circumstances. Instead, I can CHOOSE to ACCEPT that it is God's best, and that he has a good reason for it. I can't do it in my own power, but I can do it in HIS.


I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.  Philippians 4:12-13

True Woman 101: Snips and Snails

 

This week our study was about men. The idea is that if we better understand the God's design for men, it will help us in understanding our design as women.

These days, its not hard to cultivate a negative view of men. Hollywood is really good at promoting the not so great qualities: Boyish, immature. Lacking in wisdom. Constantly lusting after women. Unfaithful. Couch potatoes. Not listening to their "nagging" wives. Just think of all the tv shows & movies that promote these kind of men. 

But as we learned this week, that does not at all represent God's design for man.

When we think of God's creation, we may be tempted to become defensive about God creating the man first. After all, doesn't that seem to suggest some sort of discrimination against women? 

Not at all. God created man first because he had a specific role in mind for him. After he created him, he placed him in the garden so he could learn to care for and tend it, and he gave him the task of naming the animals so he could learn to properly exert his authority. Then he created the woman. Men were created to be providers, protectors, leaders, and overseers-first for their wives but ultimately for their families. Out of his love, God taught the man to be all of these things before he brought the woman on the scene so the man could properly tend to his wife. 

As we read Genesis 2:15, we see that the man was given the responsibility to "work and keep" the garden. Providing and protecting is a responsibility that God created to be at the core of a man's design. Man was designed for work, and given an inner conquest to take initiative in terms of finding a way to provide and protect his own. It's unique to man because in the beginning, before the woman was created, God gave the man the tasks of "working" and "keeping" the garden to help nurture his "providing" and "protecting" responsibilities. 

God also created men to lead. Not in a way the minimizes or demeans women, but the way Jesus exemplified: "Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must become your slave.” Matthew 20:26-27

In God's mind, the man is to be a servant leader. To be a servant leader means he is willing to accept the responsibility for shepherding, nurturing, protecting and providing his family. It is realizing that God has called him to take the responsibility he has been entrusted with seriously, and to lead by serving, not in selfishness.

While feminism has taught us to be defensive when it comes to allowing men to lead, when we consider men leading the way God designed, we can see how much he truly loves and values women.  Men were given the responsibility to watch over and protect, to care for, and to lovingly lead us, not to harm us. When we step back and consider it, men have a huge responsibility on their shoulders. That's why they need us to pray for them-so they can lead as God has given them the responsibility to do. 

When we try to have our own way and make our own decisions rather than building up and supporting our men, we tear away at the core of who they are. We strip them of their masculinity-of the true design that God intended. We undermine God's design for men when we are unsupportive of their decisions and when we choose to do things our way rather than trust them to guide. As a culture, we've taken away their God given ability to lead, suggesting that we (women) can do it better. We cut them down so we can build ourselves up.

What would it look like if instead of critiquing and complaining, we started encouraging, supporting and praying earnestly for the men in our lives? Instead, we should be earnestly praying for them and supporting them as we trust them to lead in our famillies, churches, and nation.

We ask God to give you complete knowledge of his will and to give you spiritual wisdom and understanding. Then the way you live will always honor and please the Lord, and your lives will produce every kind of good fruit. All the while, you will grow as you learn to know God better and better. Colossians 1:9-10


 *If you are interested in hearing more about the "Snips and Snails" topic, refer to my True Woman:101 tab at the top of this page to watch a short video discussion led by the authors of the book.
 

Confessions of the Condo: Photo Edition

I don't include photos on my blog very often, so I thought I would change it up for once.

~ I often bribe my son with other food to get him to eat his vegetables. For example, today, in order to get him to eat his green beans, I bribed him with cheese. (I seriously think he would prefer cheese to anything with sugar) I will let the picture speak for itself...

Is that a look or what?

~ I recently acquired this decoration at Bed Bath and Beyond in the clearance/scratch and dent section. I couldn't see any scratches or dents. I was hoping it would hope add to helping us believe it's true...

~ I have a slight addiction to Vera Bradley. I only actually have 3, and one is a diaper bag, and one is a very small purse. I got this one last year at Hallmark for 75% off, making it less than $20. Normally they cost a lot more than that! My favorite thing about this one? Pockets! Especially the one on the outside, so might keys and phone don't have to get lost in the bottomless pit inside.

~My husband got me this for my birthday. I have several different kinds, but I'm liking these a lot better. I drink at least one of these full of water a day, if not two (this one is 24 oz). I am a fiend when it comes to drinking water, I don't go anywhere without my water cup. I am convinced that it helps with weight loss (maybe b/c it helps you feel full w/o the calories?), plus, you just feel a whole lot better.

~After having my own and now having them here in the condo, I've concluded that laminate wood floors look great. And that's about it. Ours were super annoying. They float so it would constantly move out from under the trim in places. The floor in the condo is much higher quality than what we had, but it still has it's downfalls. Like when the dishwasher leaked and the water kept seeping back up through the cracks. And how cold it is during the winter. And how stuff sticks to my bare fit. That's where these come in:

I love them. Seriously they are the most comfortable things ever. I don't know if I can ever go back to bare feet. And yes, it's summer and I am still wearing them. Did I mention how much I hate stuff sticking to my feet?

~My son and I have matching shoes, and people constantly notice that we have matching shoes. I actually did buy them at the same time, but not b/c they matched. I had wanted some and Payless was having a B1G1 sale so I got Benjamin some too b/c they were a good deal. They are actually super comfortable! (I'm not sure what Benjamin thinks of his)

~And for good measure, I will throw this one in. People say we look alike-I don't see it.

True Woman 101: Gender Matters

So I just finished up week 1 of the new Bible Study. Some of my favorite ladies are doing it with me (they're all related to me!), so I'm excited to learn and grow together with them. If anyone else out there wants to join us feel free to contact me!

So, this week we learned that in the beginning, God created male and female, and that he created them both in his image. He could have created just one gender, but he chose to create two. As Genesis 1:27 says, 

"God created man in His own image,

 in the image of God He created him; 

 male and female He created them."

When he looked over his creation of male and female, he stated that it was "very good," indicating that he carried out his perfect design just as he intended, with full knowledge of the sin that would soon enter their hearts.  

When we study and see that "man" actually refers to both sexes, we see that both were created "in his image" and that he values both equally. We are created to fulfill different roles and have different attributes to contribute to our differing roles, but together, we reflect the relationship between Father and Son, and Son and Church.

And that is our ultimate responsibility: to display Christ. That is what God, the Creator ultimately made us to do-to bring him glory and to point others to His powerful redemptive plan. 

Male or female, that is our ultimate purpose. We are not free to define gender however we wish-because God created male and female in his image for a very specific purpose. Individually we reflect his characteristics, and together we reflect his redemption plan. We are loved equally, so there's no reason to try and promote one over the other, and we are both heirs and free to his receive his grace.

We ARE created equal. When it comes to God's love, God's redemption story and his grace, we are equally eligible. Male or female, He loves us equally. He values us equally. 

It's easy to look at our world and see the destruction that going against God's plan has caused.  If we would only embrace God's design for our respective genders, we would certainly begin to "turn the world upside down!" Women would stop looking to worldly influences to define their worth and realize that they have been full of worth since the moment they were created. Our lives would change. Our families would change. Our whole perspective would change. 

For me, it's a matter of rejecting and replacing all the ideas that the world has instilled, about beauty lying in our physical appearance and accepting that my worth does not come from what I look like, what I have or don't have, how organized and on top of things I am or what others think of me. The idea that it's my responsibility to bear the image of God is something I think I know but do not always think about or practice.  

You may not agree with God's design for womanhood, but that doesn't change the fact that he created and designed you for a purpose. If we don't understand the reason he created us, how will we ever find ultimate fulfillment by embracing our purpose? Understanding that my "womanhood is ultimately not about me, but about displaying the glory of God & His powerful redemptive plan" really changes my perspective and how I spend my time. It also changes my attitude. Life is not all about me and getting what I want out of it. It's about my Creator, and what he created me to do. That is where I will find the greatest "blessing and joy." 

"It's a profound honor & responsibility to bear the image of God." And I hope that it's one you take seriously.  

Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like him. In this new life, it doesn’t matter if you are a Jew or a Gentile, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbaric, uncivilized,slave, or free. Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us.   Colossians 3:10

*If you are interested in hearing more about the "Gender Matters" topic, refer to my True Woman:101 tab at the top of this page to watch a short video discussion led by the authors of the book.

Lessons of the Condo: Resistent Pruning

I recently started the book "Lies Women Believe: And the Truth that Sets them Free" by Nancy Leigh Demoss. I have listened to her radio programs often and enjoy the way she presents truth from a woman's perspective.

I have to say though, as I read through several of the chapters, I found myself very turned off and defensive.

In the book, she presents several "lies" that the enemy uses to try and make us ineffective and even paralyzed when it comes to being a "woman of noble character." At the end of each chapter, she asks you to consider the Lies that are presented and which one you might have fallen prey to.

I think I qualified for at least 75% of them.

That made me defensive. I mean, does she really think that we're going to have a totally accurate view of ourselves, free of any blemishes and totally confident in who we are according to God?  I can understand needing to have an accurate view about God, but have an accurate view of myself? I can work on it but I'm probably never going to. That was the first two chapters: Lies Women Believe About God and About Themselves.

Then I got to the chapter on Lies We Believe About Sin. Let me list out the lies for you:

1. I can sin and get away with it.
2. My sin isn't really that bad.
3. God can't forgive what I've done.
4. I'm not fully responsible for my actions and reactions.
5. I cannot walk in consistent victory over sin.
This chapter really resonated with me. Especially #2. I totally think some sin is worse than others. For example, cheating on your spouse is much worse than wasting time or being lazy? Right?

Wrong. Sin is sin. My "respectable" sins" as they are sometimes deemed are just as bad as the Big Bad sins like adultery. But I don't often look at them that way. After all, they're not as bad as some of the "bigger" sins I see others engaging in.

Wow is my perspective warped. I totally believe these lies! I make excuses all the time for things I know I shouldn't be doing, or for not doing something I know I should be doing.

But God's is not. From His perspective, sin is sin. There's some that the Bible mentions he REALLY doesn't like, but that doesn't minimize the others.

Laziness-that's a sin.

Choosing yourself over your husband-that's prideful and selfish and that's a sin.

Wasting time-that's one too.

Does this make you defensive? I know I didn't like hearing it. I don't like being told I'm a lot worse than I really think I am.

But it's true. Large or small, sin is sin. And I need to deal with it. That starts with acknowledgement. Followed by repentance. Followed by change (with God's help of course).

After reading through this book for a few days, I did my Sunday School lesson for the week.  The title? "Putting off the old life."

Putting off those old sins that often creep their way back into our lives. Or were never really rid of. We have to make a constant effort to put off and keep putting off the old ways.

That's the nature of the sinful world we live in. We'll never be free of the temptations of sin until we are no longer in this world.

The point of all this? There's a lot I need to "put off." There's a lot of lies I need to acknowledge that I have believed, and that I need to replace with the truth. There's sin that needs to be dealt with.

Whether I like it or not, sin is present in my heart. To deal with it, I have to acknowledge it. Being defensive about it just furthers the enemies agenda, because it keeps me from dealing with it. Rather than ridding myself of it, I make room for it, excuses for it.

So rather than putting the book down, I'll keep reading. I might not like all that I hear, but I need to hear it. To mull over it. To question it.

With God's help, I can put off the old ways. But if and only if I will acknowledge it first.

He truly is a Master Gardener. Don't resist his pruning.

Confessions of the Condo: Coffee and Plastic Silverware

~I drank decaff coffee this week every day until today. I was proud that I didn't get a caffeine headache (no signs of outward addiction), but I found myself struggling to wake up and basically felt like crashing by mid afternoon.

"Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall." Proverbs 16:18

~I've been trying to get to bed by 10 pm this week. I went to bed at 10:30 one night and felt like I had went to bed at 2 am the next day. My hope is always to go to bed earlier and to get up earlier, but that is a constant uphill battle for me-it's more in my nature to stay up late. Really it's about priorities and planning and choices.

"In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat— for he grants sleep to those he loves." Psalm 127:2

~Our dishwasher is leaking. Our landlord is coming over tonight to install a brand new one. For the last few days, rather than just washing the dishes by hand (which I have done some), I chose to use paper and plastic. I like to use the excuse that our dish drainer thing is packed, so there's nothing to dry them on if I wash them by hand. I think we all know the truth.


"Lazy hands make for poverty or having to use paper and plastic dinnerware, but diligent hands bring wealth i.e. Longaberger dishware." Proverbs 10:4

~People keep saying that Benjamin probably really likes being outside. My reply is that yes, indeed he does like being outside, but we don't really have a place for him to go outside and play. They then proceed to look at me like, "um, okay?" I don't think they realize that our condo is basically an apartment in an apartment building. The only thing that makes it a "condo" vs an "apartment" is that each unit is privately owned. We have no backyard, no patio, no outdoor space to claim besides a garage (others in the building at least have a patio-introduce temptation to covet...). There is no space to take him where he is not at any point in time in danger of being hit by a car, because it's the parking lot or the small patch of grass next to the parking lot. Unless we go to the park of course. Still not the same as having your own backyard.

"Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." Colossians 3:12


I think I better stop and get off the complain train before it veers of the tracks...

Confessions of the Condo: Catching Up

~My son went to bed at 7 pm Monday night and got up at 9:30 am on Tuesday. I think he was tired. I must say he was in quite the chipper mood most of the morning. If only I could always ensure that he got all the rest he needed. I'm convinced that a lot of the "bad" behavior in children is a result of them being tired.

~My husband and I got to go away for a one night getaway this weekend. We were only away from supper Sunday night until lunch Monday morning, but there's just something about being able to relax and go out to dinner and not worry about taking Benjamin and all of Benjamin's necessities and getting him fed and getting him to bed on time etc etc etc. Thank goodness for Grandma's who don't mind coming and spending some time spoiling their grandson for a night. If you don't have regular date night's and a few getaways throughout the year planned into your marriage, I highly recommend it! (especially for those of you with little ones)


 ~I needed to pick up a few things at HyVee yesterday, so I decided to jog down (after all, it gets you there a lot faster than walking). When I got there, some guy saw me and said, "hey, I just saw you jogging down Devil's Glen!" I'm not sure if it was some kind of incredible surprise that I could've made it to the grocery store that fast or that I would have the audacity to go in the grocery store after jogging. Personally though I find the idea of jogging to go get food kind of amusing.


 ~My husband went to start drive his truck a couple of weeks ago and it wouldn't start. He spent some time researching and doing some different tests and finally figured out it was a starter gone bad. Within a couple hours last night he had it off and replaced and started and running better than ever. I just have to brag on him a bit because I'm always impressed when he fixes things by himself.


 ~I did not get out of my PJ's until sometime after 2 pm yesterday.


 ~I have a constant desire lately to go on some sort of vacation. The last one we went on was when I was about 4 months pregnant with Benjamin, and Kevin went to Colorado for training for a week or so, so technically, it was a work during the week and enjoy the nights and weekend kind of thing. Vacationing with a 1 1/2 year old just isn't the same, and we never know when we're going to move, so it makes it hard to plan something.


 ~Going back to our getaway thing, we got a HUGE hotel room. The last couple of times they have ended up upgrading us to a larger room than the one we booked, but this was definitely the biggest room I've ever stayed in. So much so, as we came to realize, it was BIGGER THAN OUR CONDO! I found that slightly depressing.


 ~We missed Sunday school the last two Sundays. One Sunday Benjamin slept through it, and another he had a runny nose so we thought we should keep him out of the nursery. Funny how our good intentions and desires get overrun by his needs.


~I think I'm finally starting to get caught up from our trip (2 weeks later). Yet I want to go on vacation. Makes a lot of sense, huh?

Bible Study

Hello all my fellow bloggers and followers!

I have been mulling over the idea of beginning a bible study, and wondered if any of you might be interested in joining me. I would be starting the study next Monday, June 4th. Here is the study I am considering:

The study is entitled True Woman 101: Divine Design and is an 8 week study on biblical womanhood. You can find more info on the website:

http://www.truewoman101.com/

If you are interested in joining me, just leave me a comment here or send me a message. You would need to purchase the book, which is available at a variety of places for between $12-$15. You can go here for a list of retailers:  http://www.moodypublishers.com/pub_productDetail.aspx?id=41823&pid=79990

Each week, I will post my answers to the weekly questions on my blog. If you are following along with me, you can feel free to respond and add to the conversation in the comments section of each post. The questions are available both in the book and on the website. There are also several video clips that you can watch on the website if you so desire, so it's really up to you on how in depth you want to go.

I'm also considering doing an email chain of answers to the questions. If that sounds like something that would interest you, you can let me know that as well and I will get your email from you. I will combine the answers into one document so you won't be bombarded by trying to read through them all.

I've never done this before so it may sound good and go terribly, but I'm excited to try! I hope you'll join me!

Beautiful.

Beauty. As a woman, it's something that my life seems to revolve around. Or at least I'm told it should.

By the world, it's physical. The way I look. How much I weigh. My hairstyle. Makeup. Clothes.

Spiritually, its' inner. What flows from your heart. Being the hands and feet of Christ.

Here is something I read in a devotional this morning:

What is satisfaction? Hollywood insists that it includes "beauty" and must be pursued by all means and to all ends. We are asked to believe that to be truly satisfied with ourselves we must be truly beautiful. Yet in Isaiah 53, we read about Jesus: "There was nothing beautiful or majestic about his appearance, nothing to attract us to him" (Isaiah 53:2). Apparently, in God's value system, appearance is not that important! It's what people do because of who they are that matters in the highest place, not how they dress it up or paint it on.

I must confess, I am rarely satisfied with how I look. I try not to dwell on it, but when I see all the fit and trim people jogging (seriously they're everywhere here) and know that I used to look like that too, I can't help but think I need to get it together.

Oh how babies change EVERYTHING.

I never really thought about Jesus not being handsome, or "beautiful" as Isaiah says. I try not to let the various depictions of him dictate how I think he might have looked, but I think I still like to think of him as a Jim Caviezel.

The point of course is not whether Jesus was handsome or not, but that in God's eyes, it made no difference. He could have made him to look however he wanted, but he chose for him to be plain looking, "nothing to attract us to him."

But people were attracted to him. Not because of his appearance, but because of his heart. He loved people. Genuinely. Not I will pretend to care so I can feel good about myself love, but real, true compassion and care for others.

I know that God doesn't care about my appearance. Sure he wants me to be healthy and to take care of myself, but not as a means of affirmation or attention.

I've been struck by the words of this song lately. I've listened to it many times, but there are days when it just hits me how true the words are, and how often I don't believe them:

Days will come when you don't have the strength
And all you hear is you're not worth anything
Wondering if you ever could be loved
And if they truly saw your heart
They'd see too much

You're beautiful, You're beautiful
You are made for so much more than all of this
You're beautiful, You're beautiful
You are treasured, you are sacred, you are His
You're beautiful

Don't let the world tell you you're not good enough. When you focus on that, it takes away from the beautiful things you could be doing because of who you are in Christ. It's a challenge for me, but I have lots of wonderful examples of Godly women around me who are beautiful because of how they love.

From your heavenly Father's perspective, you are beautiful because he created you. You are treasured, and sacred-because you are his. Whether or not you believe it, he loves you. Whether or not you believe it, in his eyes, you are worth everything. That's why he sent his beloved son to this earth-to take the blame for you sins so you could be ushered back into his presence, reconciled and blameless, washed and clean. 

Of all the earth and skies above, you're the one He madly loves enough to die.

Not because of how you look, or what you've done to earn it, or who you're trying to be. 

 Because you are His.

You're beautiful, in His eyes.

Confessions of the Condo: Struggling

-This is one of those weeks where I've spent countless hours perusing house listings. I can't find anything. For some reason I think if I keep looking, maybe I will just happen upon something I haven't seen before. At the same time I know when the right one does come up, I'm probably not going to have to go looking for it, but I can't help myself.

-Going along with that, this is also one of those weeks where I'm struggling. It may take less than an hour to get this condo clean, but it also seems to get dirty an hour after I get done cleaning. When Benjamin makes his usual daily mess with his toys, it takes up most of the living room and doesn't take much before it spreads to his room and our room and the bathroom and the kitchen so it makes the whole place feel messy. We also have to eat at the counter so the counters seem to always be dirty. As you can tell I don't deal well with messiness, but I have a hard time keeping it as spotless as I would like. Maybe there's a lesson here?

-I had someone make the comment recently that Benjamin should be able to play outside (even if it means a few bumps and scrapes-commenting on the knot on his noggin). After all little boys need to be outside. I didn't have the heart to tell her that he can't really play outside very often because there is no where for him to play outside (unless we go to the park). He considers being able to go out to the garage quite the treat.

-We have people ask if there is any update on the housing situation, or if there's been any movement in the market. Lately, my husband's reply has been basically "stagnant."  I don't know if I have ever seen it so stagnant. I'm trying to convince myself this is a good thing because that way we are tempted to settle for something smaller or less than what we are looking for, but it's also slightly discouraging because there hasn't been anything like what we are looking for. Nothing. I'm also tempted to think that when something does come up, everyone is going to go for it because there hasn't been anything for so long. It's definitely stretching our faith-trusting that God WILL work it all out and that he DOES have our best in mind, that he IS faithful and he DOES hear our prayers.

-I've been battling tiredness lately. Too much stress and too little sleep. Heartburn. Cranky little boy. Shoulder out of whack giving me headaches. Complain much? I know, but I've just felt terrible. I figured it was coming. I've been trying to read a lot and take advantage of the opportunity to refresh and grow and focus more on others while I'm here. Satan doesn't like that, so he gave me a few things to try and take me back a few steps. I'm learning though the importance of rest. Without it I'm drained. Without it, I've got nothing to give as a wife and a mom, because I'm running on empty. I'm more inclined to late nights than early mornings, so it's a struggle for me to start getting ready for bed at 9 pm, but I feel so much better when I get a good night's rest.

-I was dwelling on my problems and my tiredness and basically having a pity party for myself the other day. Then, while I was walking into HyVee, I saw a mom with two younger children, plus a third, which she was lowering out of her accessible van because the daughter was in a wheelchair. I knew I needed to be focusing more on the blessings I have, but seeing her plus some things that others I know are going through really put things into perspective for me. What a blessing it is to have a healthy little boy. It didn't have to be that way. But God in his graciousness brought us through some tough stuff.

How can I doubt him now?

God is good all the time. Believe it, even when it doesn't feel like it's true, because it is. He never changes. It's true, regardless of our circumstances.

For the Lord God is a sun and shield;
The Lord will give grace and glory;
No good thing will He withhold
From those who walk uprightly.
                              Psalm 84:11

Post-Trip Confessions: Indiana Edition

-We just got back Sunday night at midnight from a 5 day trip to the hubby's home state. We drove 5 hours to visit his family then went 2 more a few days later to a graduation. It wasn't bad until the drive home, pretty sure that was the longest drive ever. I don't think I've ever been so happy to see our cozy little condo.

-Nor have I been so exhausted in my life. Several late nights made it hard to catch up. I was really exhausted after our move here, but this was definitely worse. I felt like I could just lay around for days-not so much an option of course when you have a toddler running around. Thankfully he was just as tired so he ended up taking some really nice long naps this week.

-Our extra two hours was to go down to Indy (Indianapolis for you non Indiana natives), where we stayed in a hotel for one night. Benjamin goes to bed at 7:30, so we did our best to get him in bed by that time at the hotel. What that meant for us was sitting around in the dark for an hour and a half trying to be quiet and still before it was time for us to go to bed. I had to go in the bathroom and use the tub to brush my teeth. Seriously, what kind of hotel doesn't put the sink in the bathroom? Next time we will definitely be splurging for the one bedroom suite-so worth it.

-Of course late nights and long drives are a breeding ground for arguments between tired mommy's and daddy's. After we stopped for supper, I offered to drive for awhile. We needed to get some gas, so I pulled into the gas station where they were apparently pouring new cement pads next to 70% of their pumps, leaving only a few open. I circled around and found the only one that seemed to be open, the one which of course had two kids messing around the car, trying to get ran over. I pulled up and stopped, thinking they would move. They stared at me. The "adult" that was with them just looked at me. Seriously? So I pulled up, my husband assuring me they would move. They didn't. So I inched up, literally less than 6 inches from the pump by the time I stopped. I looked at my husband, he looked at me.

"Do you want ME to get out and do it?" (i.e. You would have the audacity to make your wife get out and pump the gas?)

"Do you want ME to get out and do it?" (i.e. You really expect me to try and squeeze myself in the 6 inch gap you left between the pump and the car?)

Finally I just got out and did it. I think he was pretty sure he couldn't fit. Or would get stuck. Either way it made the next hour or two even longer. (In his defense I had to stand on the "curb" of the gas pump because there was no room left between the car and the pump other than that. Actually I'm surprised I could open the door and get out of the car)

-I got a jogging stroller a couple of weeks ago at a garage sale. Apparently it's a must have here because everyone around here has one. I figured since everyone else here has one that I needed to get one too (and I had been wanting one for awhile before we moved here). I found one for $20 so I thought that was too reasonable of a deal to pass up.

And of course since I now have a jogging stroller, it must mean that I also need to start jogging. I started the week before we left for Indiana, hoping I could keep it up while there. Not. Okay, so then I will start back up when I get back.

Since I was so tired from the trip I waited a few days. I only go about 1/2 a mile because I have to build up very slowly on account of my shin splint issues, so since it's about that far to the grocery store, I decided I had recovered enough to take a short run down to Hyvee on Wednesday to get some groceries.

Bad idea. After walking around for a bit, I started to get a little woozy and light headed. I started thinking how I was going to have to call my husband to come get me and that was going to stress him out because he's been so busy at work and it was going to take  him awhile to get there and my poor son is going to worry what in the world is going on and etc etc etc

Thankfully I was able to finish getting my groceries and start to regain my bearings.

No more running this week. In fact I think it would be a good idea to replace my runs with naps.

-I think it's going to take while to undo all the bad habits Benjamin picked up while traveling. I think for the last week it's taken him twice as long to eat, and he's all the sudden become much pickier about his food.He got to eat much unhealthier than usual. And he now thinks meal time is social hour. And when you're visiting family IT IS a good time to socialize, b/c it's a time when you are all sitting down together. But not so much when you get home and it takes the boy an hour to eat. When we were visiting family he ate fairly healthy, but since I didn't want to deal with transporting food for him for the rest of the trip, he got to "eat out" a lot more than usual.  Chicken tenders and fries and sugar loaded applesauce...ugh.

Oh traveling.

Confessions of the Condo: Mommy Edition

-I told my son the other day that I needed to finish cleaning up my mess and then I would come and clean up his. Although I didn't mean for it to be, I thought that was a pretty good insight into motherhood-trying to clean up our own mess of sin and selfishness while so we can help them learn to clean up theirs.

-I took Benjamin to the mall to the other day and we ate lunch there to help save time. He had some peaches among other things. When I got  home and looked in the mirror I realized I had a piece of peach on my nose...the whole time I was at the mall it was there.

-A different day I went and looked in the mirror and discovered I had green beans in my hair.

-About 2-3 times a week I let Benjamin watch tv. Actually they are videos so I try to convince myself that is better for him than whatever is on tv. One that he loves is about horses, the other is the Winnie the Pooh movie, which he never gets all the way through. He will sit and watch the horse video though, so when I need a 1/2 hour to get something done I will let him watch it. That and Sunday's when he is driving us nuts b/c he missed a nap during church. And on Mondays when he's driving me nuts from missing his nap on Sunday.

-Although he can go without, I still have Benjamin take morning naps (he's 17 months old). He seems to be in a better mood plus it's a hour and half of alone time for me. It does make it harder to run errands though. I only have about an hour and a half to two hour window of opportunity between naps, but the me time and a little boy in a better mood is well worth it.

-In light of the above, I have a hard time with appointments. Usually I can only go if my husband is home. I was getting really sick of my super bland haircut, and because I couldn't find time to go and get it cut, I decided one night just to do it myself. This is not the first time of course, but this is the first time I did something more drastic. Bangs! Yes, I now have bangs, but I have yet to actually wear my hair so you can see them. I usually have them pulled back so you would hardly even notice. My husband has seen it though and seemed to like it, so hopefully I will get brave and sport the new look one of these days.

-Now that I'm a Mom, I really look forward to Mother's Day. My husband usually does something special for me, plus, it gives me a time to acknowledge and recognize my own Mom and Mother in Law and Grandma's for all their love and sacrifice over the years. I'm really excited this year to be able to be with both my husband's family for party of the weekend and with my family the rest, usually it's one or the other so that is a special blessing this year.


I'm sure their are a lot more Mommy related things to confess, but that's all I've got for now.

Have a wonderful and blessed Mother's Day!