Confessions of the Condo: Hello Summer

~I remember our landlord commenting when we signed the lease that if we were still here in the summer that we might be able access to the association's pool. I think I thought at that time that well, that sounds nice, but I'm not planning on being here that long.

Last week he showed up at our door with our pool key.

~Benjamin is in love with water. Not the swimming pool kind-the river kind. He loves driving by the river so he can point at the water and the buh's (boats). Whenever we go to leave, he wants to know if we're going to see wah wah and buh's. I think this started because we have been driving the length of river drive on our way to church, so he got ample views of the river (at least until they started construction and were forced to take the Locust street detour-not near as interesting).

~Looking at our entirely full calendar and sensing my husband's lack of desire for the added stress, I have put aside the vacation plans for now. Instead, I've decided to get out enjoy all that the QC has to offer (really, there is a lot!)

This week we took advantage of Funday Monday at the QC Botanical Center. I like to take photos, so I thought this was a place that we could both enjoy and I had always wanted to check it out. Afterwards, we went down to Schweibert Park on the Rock Island riverfront to check out the wah wah and buh's and see what the kid's fountain thing was all about. It may be in Rock Island, but it was actually pretty nice!

P.S. If you have not heard of Funday Mondays, the Putnam, Family Museum, Botanical Center and Riverside Aquatic Center are all offering free admission on Mondays until August 13th-see http://familycu.com/fun for more info...

~Right as we were getting ready to leave for the Botanical Center, Benjamin took a spill and cut his lip. Blood everywhere. Screaming because I had the audacity to dab his lip with a wad of toilet paper. Sigh.

~As I write this, Benjamin and I are sitting in his pillow pile in our pj's watching the Pooh movie. It's just one of those days/weeks.

Gonna be a hot one out there this week-stay cool!

True Woman 101: Sugar & Spice

                            

This week in our we took a look at God's design for women.

There are a lot of depictions of women that we are fed that are so far from reality. If we look to TV, magazines, or other media, women are often portrayed as attractive, intelligent, strong and independent. They have successful careers, but not necessarily successful marriages. They balance motherhood with the most successful positions, always sporting the lastest styles and never have a hair out of place. They are flawlessly beautiful (or at least as much so as photoshop can make them).

It may seem great to think of women as beautiful, strong, and independent, but its not the design God had in mind. It may seem attractive, but when it comes down to it, it's not what's going to fulfill us.  Our physical appearance and our outward success is not what matters. It's about our hearts, and our love for others-shining the light of Christ as we love as he has loved. What's important is not how beautiful, successful, or generally "good" we feel about ourselves, but whether we are bringing glory to God, which cannot be done when we are trying to follow the world's standards for womanhood.

When it comes to gender differences, there are even obvious differences between male and female bodies that point to our God given design. Males were created to be physically stronger. Women were created to be soft. Not weaker, just softer. It's like pillows. Men are the extra firm, and women are the big soft fluffy kind. Men were created stronger b/c they are given the task of providing and protecting. Women were created to aid the man in creating and nurturing life.

While this thought may make some go on the defense, I don't think the idea of "softness" needs to be something we get defensive about. Being soft does not mean being weak, it just means being welcoming and nurturing. No one wants to deal with a harsh and rigid woman (or man for that matter). As promoters of the gospel, softness is essential because we want to shine the love and grace of Christ.

Along with the bent toward softness, women were also created to have a responsive, welcoming spirit. While some may view responsiveness as a negative or submissive trait, in actuality, it is quite a positive trait. Allow me to illustrate:

If my husband and I are having a discussion and he presents and idea and I immediately shoot him down, then that's a fairly negative response. If I take the time to listen and hear him out though, think about it, and then ask a few questions, that seems like a much better way of responding. It's all about our attitude and heart in responding. We can disagree but still do it in a "soft" and respectful way, whether it be with our husbands or any other person we might be dealing with. When it gets down to it, being loud and assertive and generally self promoting is not a good way of shining the light of Christ, and ultimately, that's what it's all about.

Along with a bent towards having a soft and responsive spirit, God also created woman with a distinctively feminine “bent” for the home. Rather than meaning women are meant to "stay" in the home, this simply means that women have a way of creating a "homey" atmosphere because they are specially made to create an environment that nurtures and invites life. Every woman can do this, married or single-we can all create an atmosphere that welcomes others and speaks to and invites them to share their hearts, whether it be in a house, apartment, or even in a public setting. It's all about having a soft, nurturing, responsive spirit. If that is our heart, than everything around us will be a natural overflow of that bent.

I may be a "home-maker" and a mom, but many of these things don't come easily to me. I was raised more towards the independent and "strong" woman bent, so it's something that I have to fight against, especially since getting married. But I'm working to embrace God's design, and I can honestly say I've never felt more fulfilled. Many of these ideas are in direct opposition to the world's views, but I would challenge you to honestly consider them knowing that these things are just a glimpse into the beauty of God's divine design! 

“Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty that depends on fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should be known for the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.” 1 Peter 3:3-4 

*As always, see the "True Woman" tab for more!

Confessions & Lessons: In Other's Words

 Here are some snippets from things I've heard or read this week:

~ (speaking on the story of Jonah) God has given you a clear assignment, but you are running in the opposite direction. Don't do it! God desires only your good. Just follow his direction.

Running in the opposite direction...

~The Truth is that God has promised to give us everything we need...The Truth is that contentment is not found in having everything we think we want but in choosing to be satisfied with what God has already provided. The Truth is that those who insist on having their own way often end up with unnecessary heartache, while those who wait on the Lord always get his best.

Contentment is not found in having everything we think we want but in CHOOSING to be satisfied with what God has ALREADY provided.

~(God) created women with a remarkable capacity to create an environment conducive to welcoming and nurturing life. How can your home be used as a place to nurture life? (Your "home" may be a house, apartment, double-wide trailer, dorm room, prison cell, hospital room, or retirement home!)


 Create an environment conducive to welcoming and nurturing...how can your "home" be used?

~ (from the Kendrick's brothers, creators of Courageous, Fireproof etc) You know—and what was most important to us, when we sat there and we asked ourselves, “If we could have anything,”—more distribution, more budget, better acting, whatever it is—“what would we choose?”

We agreed that we would choose the favor of God, above everything because if you have the favor of—and this applies to everything we do, not just films—if you have the favor of God on it, and God‟s able to do whatever He wants, and He gets the credit, then, it will do well or whatever He wants it to do.

So, we said, “If that‟s true, we have to chase the favor of God more than anything else.” The Lord is pleased when we seek Him and wait on Him. Then, He just picks the time, and He unloads on us the direction to go. Then, He starts opening doors we could not have opened without Him.

CHOOSE the favor of God...the Lord is pleased when we seek Him and wait on Him...opening doors we could not have opened without Him.

~(from Joni Eareckson Tada) "And my life—your  life—is to please God: to exude the fragrance of a life yielded, submitted, acquiesced, surrendered and deferred to Him, and to do it so sweetly, not with a sour disposition; not with dragging your feet, but no, with a sweet surrender. No room for an attitude that grumbles and whines. Nothing pleasing when you smile on one hand, but on the other, are simmering with resentment deep down inside."

...to do is sweetly, not with a sour disposition; not with dragging your feet, but no, with a sweet surrender.

I could say that I'm working to accept my circumstances, but I don't think I can "work" to accept my circumstances. Instead, I can CHOOSE to ACCEPT that it is God's best, and that he has a good reason for it. I can't do it in my own power, but I can do it in HIS.


I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.  Philippians 4:12-13

True Woman 101: Snips and Snails

 

This week our study was about men. The idea is that if we better understand the God's design for men, it will help us in understanding our design as women.

These days, its not hard to cultivate a negative view of men. Hollywood is really good at promoting the not so great qualities: Boyish, immature. Lacking in wisdom. Constantly lusting after women. Unfaithful. Couch potatoes. Not listening to their "nagging" wives. Just think of all the tv shows & movies that promote these kind of men. 

But as we learned this week, that does not at all represent God's design for man.

When we think of God's creation, we may be tempted to become defensive about God creating the man first. After all, doesn't that seem to suggest some sort of discrimination against women? 

Not at all. God created man first because he had a specific role in mind for him. After he created him, he placed him in the garden so he could learn to care for and tend it, and he gave him the task of naming the animals so he could learn to properly exert his authority. Then he created the woman. Men were created to be providers, protectors, leaders, and overseers-first for their wives but ultimately for their families. Out of his love, God taught the man to be all of these things before he brought the woman on the scene so the man could properly tend to his wife. 

As we read Genesis 2:15, we see that the man was given the responsibility to "work and keep" the garden. Providing and protecting is a responsibility that God created to be at the core of a man's design. Man was designed for work, and given an inner conquest to take initiative in terms of finding a way to provide and protect his own. It's unique to man because in the beginning, before the woman was created, God gave the man the tasks of "working" and "keeping" the garden to help nurture his "providing" and "protecting" responsibilities. 

God also created men to lead. Not in a way the minimizes or demeans women, but the way Jesus exemplified: "Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must become your slave.” Matthew 20:26-27

In God's mind, the man is to be a servant leader. To be a servant leader means he is willing to accept the responsibility for shepherding, nurturing, protecting and providing his family. It is realizing that God has called him to take the responsibility he has been entrusted with seriously, and to lead by serving, not in selfishness.

While feminism has taught us to be defensive when it comes to allowing men to lead, when we consider men leading the way God designed, we can see how much he truly loves and values women.  Men were given the responsibility to watch over and protect, to care for, and to lovingly lead us, not to harm us. When we step back and consider it, men have a huge responsibility on their shoulders. That's why they need us to pray for them-so they can lead as God has given them the responsibility to do. 

When we try to have our own way and make our own decisions rather than building up and supporting our men, we tear away at the core of who they are. We strip them of their masculinity-of the true design that God intended. We undermine God's design for men when we are unsupportive of their decisions and when we choose to do things our way rather than trust them to guide. As a culture, we've taken away their God given ability to lead, suggesting that we (women) can do it better. We cut them down so we can build ourselves up.

What would it look like if instead of critiquing and complaining, we started encouraging, supporting and praying earnestly for the men in our lives? Instead, we should be earnestly praying for them and supporting them as we trust them to lead in our famillies, churches, and nation.

We ask God to give you complete knowledge of his will and to give you spiritual wisdom and understanding. Then the way you live will always honor and please the Lord, and your lives will produce every kind of good fruit. All the while, you will grow as you learn to know God better and better. Colossians 1:9-10


 *If you are interested in hearing more about the "Snips and Snails" topic, refer to my True Woman:101 tab at the top of this page to watch a short video discussion led by the authors of the book.
 

Confessions of the Condo: Photo Edition

I don't include photos on my blog very often, so I thought I would change it up for once.

~ I often bribe my son with other food to get him to eat his vegetables. For example, today, in order to get him to eat his green beans, I bribed him with cheese. (I seriously think he would prefer cheese to anything with sugar) I will let the picture speak for itself...

Is that a look or what?

~ I recently acquired this decoration at Bed Bath and Beyond in the clearance/scratch and dent section. I couldn't see any scratches or dents. I was hoping it would hope add to helping us believe it's true...

~ I have a slight addiction to Vera Bradley. I only actually have 3, and one is a diaper bag, and one is a very small purse. I got this one last year at Hallmark for 75% off, making it less than $20. Normally they cost a lot more than that! My favorite thing about this one? Pockets! Especially the one on the outside, so might keys and phone don't have to get lost in the bottomless pit inside.

~My husband got me this for my birthday. I have several different kinds, but I'm liking these a lot better. I drink at least one of these full of water a day, if not two (this one is 24 oz). I am a fiend when it comes to drinking water, I don't go anywhere without my water cup. I am convinced that it helps with weight loss (maybe b/c it helps you feel full w/o the calories?), plus, you just feel a whole lot better.

~After having my own and now having them here in the condo, I've concluded that laminate wood floors look great. And that's about it. Ours were super annoying. They float so it would constantly move out from under the trim in places. The floor in the condo is much higher quality than what we had, but it still has it's downfalls. Like when the dishwasher leaked and the water kept seeping back up through the cracks. And how cold it is during the winter. And how stuff sticks to my bare fit. That's where these come in:

I love them. Seriously they are the most comfortable things ever. I don't know if I can ever go back to bare feet. And yes, it's summer and I am still wearing them. Did I mention how much I hate stuff sticking to my feet?

~My son and I have matching shoes, and people constantly notice that we have matching shoes. I actually did buy them at the same time, but not b/c they matched. I had wanted some and Payless was having a B1G1 sale so I got Benjamin some too b/c they were a good deal. They are actually super comfortable! (I'm not sure what Benjamin thinks of his)

~And for good measure, I will throw this one in. People say we look alike-I don't see it.

True Woman 101: Gender Matters

So I just finished up week 1 of the new Bible Study. Some of my favorite ladies are doing it with me (they're all related to me!), so I'm excited to learn and grow together with them. If anyone else out there wants to join us feel free to contact me!

So, this week we learned that in the beginning, God created male and female, and that he created them both in his image. He could have created just one gender, but he chose to create two. As Genesis 1:27 says, 

"God created man in His own image,

 in the image of God He created him; 

 male and female He created them."

When he looked over his creation of male and female, he stated that it was "very good," indicating that he carried out his perfect design just as he intended, with full knowledge of the sin that would soon enter their hearts.  

When we study and see that "man" actually refers to both sexes, we see that both were created "in his image" and that he values both equally. We are created to fulfill different roles and have different attributes to contribute to our differing roles, but together, we reflect the relationship between Father and Son, and Son and Church.

And that is our ultimate responsibility: to display Christ. That is what God, the Creator ultimately made us to do-to bring him glory and to point others to His powerful redemptive plan. 

Male or female, that is our ultimate purpose. We are not free to define gender however we wish-because God created male and female in his image for a very specific purpose. Individually we reflect his characteristics, and together we reflect his redemption plan. We are loved equally, so there's no reason to try and promote one over the other, and we are both heirs and free to his receive his grace.

We ARE created equal. When it comes to God's love, God's redemption story and his grace, we are equally eligible. Male or female, He loves us equally. He values us equally. 

It's easy to look at our world and see the destruction that going against God's plan has caused.  If we would only embrace God's design for our respective genders, we would certainly begin to "turn the world upside down!" Women would stop looking to worldly influences to define their worth and realize that they have been full of worth since the moment they were created. Our lives would change. Our families would change. Our whole perspective would change. 

For me, it's a matter of rejecting and replacing all the ideas that the world has instilled, about beauty lying in our physical appearance and accepting that my worth does not come from what I look like, what I have or don't have, how organized and on top of things I am or what others think of me. The idea that it's my responsibility to bear the image of God is something I think I know but do not always think about or practice.  

You may not agree with God's design for womanhood, but that doesn't change the fact that he created and designed you for a purpose. If we don't understand the reason he created us, how will we ever find ultimate fulfillment by embracing our purpose? Understanding that my "womanhood is ultimately not about me, but about displaying the glory of God & His powerful redemptive plan" really changes my perspective and how I spend my time. It also changes my attitude. Life is not all about me and getting what I want out of it. It's about my Creator, and what he created me to do. That is where I will find the greatest "blessing and joy." 

"It's a profound honor & responsibility to bear the image of God." And I hope that it's one you take seriously.  

Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like him. In this new life, it doesn’t matter if you are a Jew or a Gentile, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbaric, uncivilized,slave, or free. Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us.   Colossians 3:10

*If you are interested in hearing more about the "Gender Matters" topic, refer to my True Woman:101 tab at the top of this page to watch a short video discussion led by the authors of the book.

Lessons of the Condo: Resistent Pruning

I recently started the book "Lies Women Believe: And the Truth that Sets them Free" by Nancy Leigh Demoss. I have listened to her radio programs often and enjoy the way she presents truth from a woman's perspective.

I have to say though, as I read through several of the chapters, I found myself very turned off and defensive.

In the book, she presents several "lies" that the enemy uses to try and make us ineffective and even paralyzed when it comes to being a "woman of noble character." At the end of each chapter, she asks you to consider the Lies that are presented and which one you might have fallen prey to.

I think I qualified for at least 75% of them.

That made me defensive. I mean, does she really think that we're going to have a totally accurate view of ourselves, free of any blemishes and totally confident in who we are according to God?  I can understand needing to have an accurate view about God, but have an accurate view of myself? I can work on it but I'm probably never going to. That was the first two chapters: Lies Women Believe About God and About Themselves.

Then I got to the chapter on Lies We Believe About Sin. Let me list out the lies for you:

1. I can sin and get away with it.
2. My sin isn't really that bad.
3. God can't forgive what I've done.
4. I'm not fully responsible for my actions and reactions.
5. I cannot walk in consistent victory over sin.
This chapter really resonated with me. Especially #2. I totally think some sin is worse than others. For example, cheating on your spouse is much worse than wasting time or being lazy? Right?

Wrong. Sin is sin. My "respectable" sins" as they are sometimes deemed are just as bad as the Big Bad sins like adultery. But I don't often look at them that way. After all, they're not as bad as some of the "bigger" sins I see others engaging in.

Wow is my perspective warped. I totally believe these lies! I make excuses all the time for things I know I shouldn't be doing, or for not doing something I know I should be doing.

But God's is not. From His perspective, sin is sin. There's some that the Bible mentions he REALLY doesn't like, but that doesn't minimize the others.

Laziness-that's a sin.

Choosing yourself over your husband-that's prideful and selfish and that's a sin.

Wasting time-that's one too.

Does this make you defensive? I know I didn't like hearing it. I don't like being told I'm a lot worse than I really think I am.

But it's true. Large or small, sin is sin. And I need to deal with it. That starts with acknowledgement. Followed by repentance. Followed by change (with God's help of course).

After reading through this book for a few days, I did my Sunday School lesson for the week.  The title? "Putting off the old life."

Putting off those old sins that often creep their way back into our lives. Or were never really rid of. We have to make a constant effort to put off and keep putting off the old ways.

That's the nature of the sinful world we live in. We'll never be free of the temptations of sin until we are no longer in this world.

The point of all this? There's a lot I need to "put off." There's a lot of lies I need to acknowledge that I have believed, and that I need to replace with the truth. There's sin that needs to be dealt with.

Whether I like it or not, sin is present in my heart. To deal with it, I have to acknowledge it. Being defensive about it just furthers the enemies agenda, because it keeps me from dealing with it. Rather than ridding myself of it, I make room for it, excuses for it.

So rather than putting the book down, I'll keep reading. I might not like all that I hear, but I need to hear it. To mull over it. To question it.

With God's help, I can put off the old ways. But if and only if I will acknowledge it first.

He truly is a Master Gardener. Don't resist his pruning.

Confessions of the Condo: Coffee and Plastic Silverware

~I drank decaff coffee this week every day until today. I was proud that I didn't get a caffeine headache (no signs of outward addiction), but I found myself struggling to wake up and basically felt like crashing by mid afternoon.

"Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall." Proverbs 16:18

~I've been trying to get to bed by 10 pm this week. I went to bed at 10:30 one night and felt like I had went to bed at 2 am the next day. My hope is always to go to bed earlier and to get up earlier, but that is a constant uphill battle for me-it's more in my nature to stay up late. Really it's about priorities and planning and choices.

"In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat— for he grants sleep to those he loves." Psalm 127:2

~Our dishwasher is leaking. Our landlord is coming over tonight to install a brand new one. For the last few days, rather than just washing the dishes by hand (which I have done some), I chose to use paper and plastic. I like to use the excuse that our dish drainer thing is packed, so there's nothing to dry them on if I wash them by hand. I think we all know the truth.


"Lazy hands make for poverty or having to use paper and plastic dinnerware, but diligent hands bring wealth i.e. Longaberger dishware." Proverbs 10:4

~People keep saying that Benjamin probably really likes being outside. My reply is that yes, indeed he does like being outside, but we don't really have a place for him to go outside and play. They then proceed to look at me like, "um, okay?" I don't think they realize that our condo is basically an apartment in an apartment building. The only thing that makes it a "condo" vs an "apartment" is that each unit is privately owned. We have no backyard, no patio, no outdoor space to claim besides a garage (others in the building at least have a patio-introduce temptation to covet...). There is no space to take him where he is not at any point in time in danger of being hit by a car, because it's the parking lot or the small patch of grass next to the parking lot. Unless we go to the park of course. Still not the same as having your own backyard.

"Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." Colossians 3:12


I think I better stop and get off the complain train before it veers of the tracks...