Stressed-Less Week 8

Wow, what a week! I started out this chapter thinking it really wouldn't apply to me. Boy was I wrong!

This week's chapter-Addicted to Adrenaline helped me to see that I fall into one of the four "Adrenaline Junkie" categories-what's known as "the Accomplisher." This is described as:

...the classic type of adrenaline addict, the one who has an almost innate need to stay busy and cross things off a list in order to feel productive. They like to be able to measure daily progress in terms of what they have completed, even at the expense of the bigger, long-term view. Accomplisher's are most susceptible to developing an adrenaline addiction because they are prone to take on more and more work.

Seriously, I think whoever wrote that definition has been stalking me. I literally have been making lists each day, which tend to get longer and longer and more and more "full" until what I hope to be able to check off and accomplish gets pretty much outrageous (just ask my hubby). This results in me putting a great deal of pressure on myself, getting my priorities all out of whack, and projects that I've started left unfinished b/c I just keep adding more and more without ever really finishing anything.

Whew! You mean I don't have to do that? And I SHOULDN'T do that? What a load off!

But here's the biggest take-away. When I over commit myself, when I exhaust my time and energy, something HAS to give. When I delegate my time without any added space, things are going to get left out. My priorities are going to shift as my focus becomes replaced by pressure to get it all done.

And there are days when I get a lot done. But for what? Sure, I may finally get a project finished. I might be able to check off all the boxes deeming it a "successful" day's work. But what had to give in order to provide that sense of accomplishment?

Priority # 1? : {Time with God}

 

Priority #2?: {my husband}

 Priority #3?: {my son}

Priority #4?: {managing our household}

Priority #5?: {utilizing my gifts, personal time, rest}

I think it's safe to say these things are fairly difficult to balance on their own, let alone anything we might add on. But how often do they take a backseat to whatever we might decide to place our focus on?

I actually went and crossed some things off my so-called "list" after reading this chapter. They were things that were only increasing the pressure and stress and taking the focus off the things that mattered. I have to admit, I felt like a weight was lifted the moment I committed to stop trying to accomplish so much.

Rather than blessings this week, I'm going to say that those things I just listed are my blessings this week. They are my calling. They are what and who God has entrusted to me-where my focus should be, and are the biggest reason why I need to start leading a stressed-less life.

~ 
 

Like I mentioned earlier, my biggest take-away this week was sitting down and recognizing where my priorities should be, but here are a few more:

Chapter 8 Take-Aways:

-"An addiction to adrenaline is often difficult to diagnose because it pushes us beyond what is healthy under the guise of normal life. People who are addicted will find that they make sure they are doing something...all the time. There is never room for down time because that would mean they are not needed or they may feel unproductive."

-"...if the devil can't hinder our relationship with God by making us immoral, he'll simply make us busy. If we take a good hard look around, there are a lot of godly people who are too busy for Jesus. Let's face it, if we are too busy to spend time with God, then we are absolutely too busy!"

"-God instructs us to obey in the big things of course, but also in our small, seemingly insignificant daily thoughts and actions."

-"Will we continue to assume that if we try hard enough we will have the power to change or make changes happen, or will we realize that God, and God alone, possesses the power to do so?"

 ~

Stressed-Less Week 7

 

The Lord will guide you always;
    he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
    and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
    like a spring whose waters never fail.

                                                             Isaiah 58:11

Speaking of well watered gardens...

Blessings this week: 

36. I've been blessed this week with blooming flowers!  Here are the first to come inside...I'm not sure what they are, but they are from a Lilac-type bush in our backyard:

 37. In the flower beds, the Iris's are the first to bloom!  I've never had these before.

 

38. These things that I thought were just decorative grass actually bloomed as well:

39. Getting plants moved and mulch in the flower beds just in time for things to start blooming. (Not to mention my favorite helper)

 

40. My husband's most recent acquisition: That nice big vehicle to the right that he used to haul all that mulch for me. 

5 more...

41. There's nothing like a boy and his cat:

42. God's safety and protection traveling despite a rough running truck pulling a loaded trailer.

43. God's help in keeping up with this Bible Study. I've needed it these last few of weeks!

44. Summer small groups. We had a really hard time deciding which one to go to, but I'm glad we chose the one we did. I didn't know it but it went right along with things God has already been challenging me to work on and change. In fact, both this Bible Study and my Small Group this week dealt with the same verse-Philippians 4:8.

45. My birthday was last week and I to go and have breakfast with my son and hubby on Tuesday, have lunch at a coffee shop with my Mom on Wednesday, and lunch with my Mom, Gma, and Aunt at Applebees on Thursday. Lots of great food and fellowship!

~

Chapter 7 Take-Aways:

-"Once we allow ourselves to grasp how big God really is, we can learn to put aside worry and rest in knowing that he can handle our problems--leaving no need for us to destroy ourselves stressing over them."

-..."God's desire is that, with every new circumstance we face, we see not only the giant but also an opportunity to discover what he is capable of handling and just how big he really is."

-"Life just happens, but attitude doesn't. A positive attitude that is pleasing to Christ and not poisoned by stress has to be developed over time, with commitment, dedication, perseverance, and self-discipline...A Christ-like attitude...is gradually built over a lifetime of submitting to God's desires over our own."

-David (when confronting Goliath) did not look at the battle line from afar, measure the distance that he would have to run versus his own quickness and agility, contemplate specific rock throwing moves, consider where he might be able to hide if things didn't work out, weigh all the positives against the negatives, or try to determine all the what-if scenarios so the he could be proactive and come up with solutions ahead of time. David just ran."

~

Stressed-Less Week 6

I'm obviously struggling againthis week, being that it's a new week and I'm still catching up from last week. Better late than never I guess!

I decided to do something a little different for my blessings post this week. I've been doing some picture taking, so I thought I'd include a few photos this week as part of my blessings. After all,  photos always make a post more exciting.

Blessings this week:

31. My hubby. I like his rugged look. Why do you think he kept it so long?

 

32. My flower beds. Can you tell they need some work? Lots of beautiful flowers & plants but way too crowded! This is the before photo, I was able to get them thinned out and moved and they are looking so much better! I'll have an after photo in the next post.

33. Our garden. My brother came out and tilled for us and we were finally able to get some plants in!

34. My little one. He insists on wearing his hat EVERYWHERE. I was reminded this week of how much of a blessing he is.

 

35. Our new mower (or at least new to us). After dealing with the frustration of ours breaking down, we were blessed to be able to buy a friend's. 

~

Chapter 6 Take-Aways:

-Once we learn the importance of the word "abide," peace can blossom. 

-...stumbling blocks to our faith, and our peace, are not always huge dramatic circumstances. Sometimes they may be nothing more than a sink full of dirty dishes and a pile of dirty laundry. At times the little things in life can be more stressful than the big. So we must carefully guard our hearts so as not to become obsessed with the mess of life, because the thief loves making the most of a mess."

-We would never ask for a life of stress and worry, but, by ignoring the reality that the devil is lurking, we are actually throwing in the towel and surrendering to such a life. It is our choice who will have dominion over our lives--the evil one or the Holy One...We have to be ready for the war that is being waged against our hearts each and every day by staying connected to our Savior."

-But just because we stop looking for God does not mean he has taken a break from looking for us. Instead, we are simply not seeing him, because we are only seeing ourselves..."

-We ask God for something, but if he doesn't answer our prayers the way we want, we go off on our own and try to make that "something" happen, even if for "just a few minutes." But time is of no essence to God; obedience is everything."

~

Stressed-Less Week 5

 

Another stressful week? Check! I'm beginning to wonder-does it ever end? 

I think the answer is that life is always stressful, one way or another. So we might as well buckle down and learn to deal with it.

Thanks goodness for this study! 

Again, this week I'm tempted to start listing all the stressors we had to deal with. But again, I'm going to choose to stick with the blessings.

Blessings this week:

26. We found out our basement seeps. A lot. Thankfully we were able to get a sump pump installed in a matter of a couple of hours. It still seeps but there's not near as much water standing. Usually projects like that take much longer than a couple of hours to accomplish.

27. We had two more calves since my last post. They both have little white belts around their bellies like their Mommas, so cute! I love watching them run around and play out my kitchen window.

28. My husband got his tiller running today. That's exciting b/c it means we will be able to plant our garden soon...and what's even more exciting is that it will be substantially larger than the one we had at our house in town. We also found some asparagus growing in the yard, which we've never been able to grow before.

29. Meal planning. I got a book and a system to help me out rather than just winging it, because let's face it, it's fairly stressful when it comes supper time and you have no idea what you're going to make. I'm working on implementing it and it's really helping me out.

30. Okay y'all, I'd never thought I'd say this-but I am truly blessed being able to take time to do the dishes. I don't really enjoy the doing the dishes part, but it's often a time when I kind enjoy the quiet and unwind, look out my window and truly enjoy the view and all that God has blessed us with.

I'm struggling to keep up this week so hopefully next week I will have more to share.

Chapter 5 Take-Aways

-"Peace is not a matter of life or circumstances; it's a matter of the heart. God could change our circumstances at any time, if he chose to do so, but he is always more interested in changing us through our circumstances than changing our circumstances themselves."

-"But what should we do while we are waiting on God's perfect timing? What is our course of action after we place our circumstances into God's hands? The answer is not to sit idly by waiting on God to do something but to actively strive for a change of heart...We must choose to expectantly wait for God to work in our lives."

-"We could actually be at church every time the door opens and still be completely separated and disconnected from God...Going to church does not make someone a Christian; it is instead meant to be a resource for increasing our faith through worship and communion with other believers. In the same way, we can believe that every word in the Bible is flawless and still not allow it to shape our lives or impact our thoughts and behaviors (or our stress levels)."

~

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Stressed-Less Week 4

 

Just when I think I'm making progress with this whole stressed-less thing, it seems like I get slapped upside the head with something that I cannot help but be anxious about. 

This week it was a futon. Yes, a futon. I found one on Craigslist that perfectly fit the idea I had in mind of what I wanted to put in my dining room. There is extra space for seating (however currently occupied by the contents of storage unit #2), and I found the perfect one for it, even if it's not quite ready for it yet. 

I was anxious about it all week long. First I had trouble coming up with a time to meet up with the person selling it, and I just knew it would be gone before we could get there. Then I worried and worried about how we were going to get it carried out and loaded since the hubby is out for the count when it comes to lifting. NOT the greatest time to be shopping for futons.

Regardless, I was finally able to set up a time. We got there and it was in an apartment building 2 floors up. Maybe my worrying was justified after all. 

After talking with the lady for a few minutes, she all but offered to give it to us if we would just take it off her hands. 

We ended up paying $25 for it. 

Then we mentioned needing help since the hubby couldn't lift, and she was more than happy to help carry it out. 

I say all this to say not only did God work out all the details, but there was absolutely no reason to get myself all in a tizzy. 

None. 

Not one. 

And there never is. 

Needless to say, I need to learn to trust my loving Father. I know he loves me and he's got my back.When I stress though, I live like I don't really believe it. 

There was another thing I got anxious and stressed about this week, but it's so incredibly ridiculous that I'm not even going to mention it. 

The point of course is that all this worrying and anxiety is totally unnecessary. In fact it's not only unnecessary--it's totally exhausting. 

Our chapter this week was about change. After months of change, the idea of more change makes me want to run screaming. What I realized this week though was that God isn't asking for me to undergo another big change in circumstances. What he wants to change is my heart. 

Part of what I need to change is accepting that I cannot dictate circumstances or people's reactions. I think I can, and that's what causes me to worry. There are just some things that are out of my control, and that's okay, because I know that God IS in control and I can totally trust him to take care of things when I am living in obedience to his will. God's got it so I can let go of it. 

One of the reflection questions at the end of the chapter asked, "What can I do to start trusting God with your whole heart and life and start accepting how valuable you are to him?"

I really wasn't sure how to answer that question, but, after skimming the chapter again, this is what I came up with: 

-work in obedience to his will instead of my own

-focus on what God has called you to do instead of what you have set out to do within the restrictions of your own agenda and skill set

-listen and surrender to his ways

My will vs His will. Isn't that what this is all about? I think I cannot trust his will, or I choose not to, so I go about trying to work out my own, much to my dismay. I worry and plot and strive and do my best to keep it all under control. 

News Flash: It doesn't work. 

I get frustrated and resentful. I worry and fret. I get discouraged. Exhausted. Fed up. Joyless. 

I look at my proposed changes and I see more attempts to plan & control, when what I should really see is:

Prayer.

Time in God's Word. 

Margins.

Boundaries. 

Truth spoken in love. 

As Tracie put it so aptly, "...if you are in God's unique and destined will for your life and are making your relationship with him a priority, you can keep stress at bay because real peace will take up residence in your heart."

~

Since I've already rambled on I'll just list a few blessings this week:

21. Getting a new-to-me futon for $25!

22. Snuggles and movies on a rainy day with my little boy. 

23. The greenery and flowers springing up. It's exciting to see what plants come up since we didn't move here until the fall. 

24. New baby calves. We have two so far and they are so cute!

25. This study! It really helped me to spend some time in God's Word this week that I wouldn't have otherwise.

Chapter 4 Take-Aways 

-"It had been so long since I had been less stressed, I had forgotten how it felt to be happy and at peace. And trust me, friends, it was a good, good feeling that came solely because of the powerful presence of God in my life and the fact that I was now walking in obedience to his will, instead of my own."

-"The real peace comes when you make God the center of your life, instead of the last resort, and when you begin focusing on what God has called you to do, instead of what you have set out to do within the restrictions of your own agenda or skill set."

-"I chose a life of stress instead of the sweet life God had designed for me for two reasons. The first reason was that I had failed to ever build a strong relationship with Christ...The second reason was that I was just too afraid to trust God with my life...I was unsure if he was really capable of providing and protecting or if he really had a plan for a broken woman like me. My feelings of unworthiness compounded my fears, and, as a result, I did not know how to trust God..."

-"My stress resulted from not knowing God, not trusting him with my whole heart, seeking peace and purpose from the world instead of from him, and from being so afraid of change that I would rather suffer than obey."

~