Made to Crave-Emotional Triggers

Emotional Triggers ~ Our desire for unhealthy treats (and other things not beneficial to us) are often triggered by difficult emotions linked to past hurts. After reading Ch. 13 do you recognize any triggers in your struggles? - See more at: http://proverbs31.org/online-bible-studies/current-study/page/2/#sthash.WzDPY1C6.dpuf

Let's start this week's post with a little truth review, shall we?

Go back to Wednesday with me for a minute. Wednesday was a productive day for me. I won't even go into the details of my accomplishments for fear that I might just try to impress you with my productivity.

Usually, for me, productivity=success. And, quite honestly, when I stopped to ponder just what all I had accomplished that day, I was quite impressed. But there was one problem standing in my way of deeming it a truly successful and accomplished day: I was an emotional wreck.

Emotions can be tied to a lot of things. A lot of times, I'm anxious about something. Other times, I'm just plain stressed. And let's not forget about those delightful hormones we're all cursed blessed with.

This day, it was probably a mixture of several of those things. Life is hard. There are things to be worried concerned about on a daily basis. If not one thing, there are sometimes a million things that scream for our attention. As I get older I find the old adage more and more true:it's always something.

This particular day, I had decided to blame someone else for the way I was feeling. On other days, I blame circumstances. Either way, I'm clearly not confronting the real source of the problem: 

Me.

This quote from Lysa really hit me between the eyes this week: "It's so easy to park our minds in bad spots. To dwell and rehash and wish things were different. But to think on hard things keeps us in hard spots and only serves to deepen our feelings of emotional emptiness. This is where the pity parties are held and we all know pit parties demand an abundance of high-calorie delights, eaten and eaten and eaten some more. But pity parties are a cruel way to entertain, for they leave behind a deeper emptiness than we started with in the first place..."

I don't always run to food. My guilty pleasure is usually more in the "shopping fix" category. And I've found myself wanting to RUN for that fix on more than one occasion this week.

But I've also noticed that my tendency to run to that fix is a choice between two things: I can go to this temporary fix which might make me feel better in the moment. 

-OR-

A deepened intimacy and trust when I go to my heavenly Father and look to him to fill my empty, craving heart, to fill every longing and provide for my every need.

That day, the emotional wreck day, I decided I'd better get to praying and relying on the "fillers" that would help me to "park my mind in a better spot" as Lysa so aptly articulated. That, and, be aware of the fact that I was probably going to start to run to my usual "fixers."

Practically, it looked like this: 

During my exercising time, rather than passing the time with tv, or music, or other fillers, I've taken up listening to teachings from some of my favorite Bible teachers (via online podcasts and broadcasts).  I don't always look forward to exercising, but I do look forward to learning and growing and filling my mind up with God's word rather than the other fillers I could turn to. It really does make a difference.

This weekend-I have the privilege of attending both a breakfast and a dinner with my husband for an award he is receiving. Usually-this would be a PRIME opportunity for me to go shopping for a new outfit (or two). The truth is though, I have ample choices in my already existing wardrobe. So this week, rather than scrounging time and forsaking responsibilities shopping for things I don't really need, I'm relying on my creativity and repurposing my old staples into new, reclaimed and reinvented fashions. I have to admit, it's actually kind of fun to come up with new ways to wear my old (and sometimes forgotten) stuff.

Lastly-I'm looking to God rather than my circumstances. Circumstances are unreliable, up and down, sometimes roller coaster-like hills and valleys. Or sometimes sitting in what seems like the forever in between. When my emotions spiral out of control I don't want to run to shopping. I don't want to be left with "a deeper emptiness than we started with in the first place." I want to run to Him, and be filled by his Spirit.

I'm tired of pity parties.

Because you know what? I was MADE FOR MORE. I was MADE TO CRAVE more than shopping and food.

I was MADE TO CRAVE a relationship with the Almighty, All Powerful God of the Universe.

And he is right there, just waiting for me to choose him.  

Made to Crave: Truth

Since this post starts off with the title, "Truth," let's just go ahead and dish out a little truth from this past week:

I didn't exercise for 4 days in a row.

I started out my afternoon snacking with healthy options. Then I was still hungry. So I ate a handful of tortilla chips. After all, it's just one handful. Then another. And another. Suddenly the bag was empty. Repeat with different foods on different days.

Then came the Couples Conference. Oh boy, should I even go here? It all started with forgetting to pack my husband a shirt.

He didn't think it was a big deal. He simply would just wear the one he had on. "Oh, no!" I thought. My husband will NOT wear the same shirt two days in a row in front of hundreds of couples. This is something I simply could not accept. It's all about appearances you know.

He gave me 10 minutes to get in and out of Kohls. Thankfully I succeeded.

I had the whole weekend mapped out. Where we would eat supper, how we could grab some ice cream, snacks and drinks for the room, etc etc etc. Before heading to our hotel, we stopped in and grabbed some Subway sandwiches to take with us.

So far so good.

My husband had suggested we could run through McD's to grab a pop (you know, the $1 any size thing). I thought he wanted one, he thought he would be nice and get me one. He pulled up to the ordering kiosk and confirmed, "Diet Coke, right?"

"Oh, no, I didn't want anything. I'm trying to cut back, and I just had a latte so no caffeine for me."

"So you don't want anything?"

"No, I'm good."

He whipped that car out of the drive up line faster than I could mutter, "I thought you wanted...?"

Once at the hotel, we settled in and ate our supper. We had a little time before the first session, and we weren't stuffed so we decided this would be an opportunity to grab some ice cream. We jumped in our car and headed across the street to ColdStone.

But as we approached, I noticed-ColdStone was dark. Like-there is no one there dark.

At this point we were both upset. We'd both been looking forward to ColdStone! How dare they be closed?!

I suggested we try McDonalds. I was met with the death stare.

We went anyway. He ordered his McFlurry, and I order mine. We pull up to the pick up window. The guy sticks his head out, "Uh, is it okay if one of them is...kind of...chocolate? Our vanilla isn't working now, so it's kind of like a twist. One of them is vanilla, but uh...."

Long story short-my husband does not like chocolate ice cream. Guess who's had the chocolate ice cream?

I say all this not to dwell on how petty we are, but to demonstrate: things don't always go as planned. And sometimes, that sends our best intentions out the window.

I planned to eat Subway. I planned (all week!) to treat ourselves to ColdStone. My husband and I would have a wonderful weekend getaway full of healthy choices and a controlled and deliberate ColdStone splurge.

Then, I waited until last minute to pack and forgot things (I forgot a lot more than the shirt by the way). Taken out of our normal element and routine-my husband and I misinterpreted, miscommunicated, and  almost missed out on enjoying our long anticipated weekend getaway.

Our best laid plans went out the window along with my self control. At the conference, there were red velvet cream cheese brownies at each table for everyone to enjoy. The tables were each set for 8 people, at ours there were only 4. There were enough brownies for each person to have one-they told us if we had extras to feel free and take one or two more.

We ended up with 4. By the next morning's session, I had consumed 2 and a half. Lest that not sound too indulgent, let me also share that each one was the size of my hand.

Here's what I think it all comes down to. The truth is, I use food for comfort. I may not be hugely overweight or anything, but I do lack self-discipline. I do lack self control. When my circumstances start to unwind-you can bet I'm looking for some ice cream.

At the conference, they presented the principle that your ability to thrive ultimately comes down to one thing: what you worship. You can worship one of two things: Christ, or an idol. Do we really need to identify the idol here?

I think it's about more than food. It's about worshiping myself. Getting what I want, when I want it so I can feel better. So I can feel good about something.

Rather than demonstrating discipline and control (which on my own are fairly difficult to grasp), I do whatever I want, when I want. In other words, I take the easy way. Rather than relying on prayer and Spirit filled submission, I choose the God of self.

There's so truth I don't really want to hear. But it's the truth I've apparently chosen. It's what fuels my behavior.

So here's my goal for this week. Choose healthy snacking options. I've already went to the store and stocked up so I won't be left searching.

Setting a goal to exercise 3-5 times per week. I actually DID exercise 3 times last week, but saw it as a failure because I missed 4 days in a row. I think not having the "I have to exercise every day" mentality will help keep my goal more reasonable and achievable.

It's Valentine's Day, so it's also a perfect opportunity to practice NOT setting up unreasonable expectations. I'm not going to run around all day trying to plan the perfect night so we can have a Pinterest perfect Valentine's Day. Because if it's anything like last weekend, it will surely fall apart at the seams when life happens and plans unravel.

And here's the verse that's inspiring me this week: "Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days." Ephesians 5:16. To me, that doesn't mean planning every moment and having everything in it's proper place. It means following God's leading every moment of every day and giving up on trying to go you own way.

Making good decisions.

Making wise, God-directed choices.

Not hurrying, and scurrying, and trying desperately to hold it all together.

It's letting his truth sink in. Letting his Spirit's power carry you. Being filled with him and his word so every step is a step toward what you were really made to crave.

Made to Crave: Determination

Today, I exercised.

Yep, on that ole' Craigslist elliptical machine my husband bought me a few years back.

It's been collecting dust for quite some time now.

As I think about it, I'm quite sure that it has never been used in this house, and we have lived here over a year. Before that, it was in storage for almost the same amount of time.

Suffice it to say, it's been awhile.

I had told myself it was fine, after all I was busy remodeling, painting, digging, carrying, sawing. I was working so hard that I even lost weight this summer.

But then came winter.

And it got really cold. And snowed. A lot.

And although I have not necessarily started gaining weight, I have started to feel pretty blah.

I'm tired

Wore out

Weary

STRESSED.

Ugh. That about sums up the feeling most days.

When I started this study I really didn't think I had a problem with eating. And I certainly didn't need exercise. I lost weight this summer!

I know exercise is good. And I know you're supposed to eat healthy, but truth be told, I've only turned to healthy eating and exercise as a way to lose weight. And since I lost weight rather than gained, I figured I'm good to go.

But you know what? I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired of feeling like I weigh way more than I do because I'm eating terribly. Just because I'm not gaining weight does not mean I'm good to go.

So, today, by the grace of God, I exercised. I'm not saying it's a total miracle that I finally decided to exercise, but I AM saying that it took a strength and a motivation other than my own to do it.

Do I suddenly feel full of energy and a zest for life? Not quite. It's going to take some perseverance. And it's going to take some serious discipline. And most importantly, it's going to take me relying on something, or better yet, on someone outside of myself.

This isn't about New Years resolutions, or quick weight loss schemes, or fitting into a pair of jeans. It's about feeling good. It's about being a good steward of not only my health, but of my time and energy. Because I just can't believe that feeling dilapidated and worn out all the time is God's good and perfect plan.

It's about being determined that I was made for more.

Made to Crave: A Raging Battle

First of all, I have to start with a confession:

I am so not motivated to do this study.

I have participated in 2 other online bible studies with Proverbs 31 but this time around I'm just not into it. It started Sunday/Monday and although I followed along on the blog, by Tuesday I was already way behind.

At first I didn't think food was really a struggle for me. I'm not really in the need to lose weight category (at least not at the moment), so I figured I would just focus on other *cravings* I might struggle with.

Then the stress level started climbing. I started to notice how I would think about grabbing some ice cream, or eating out tonight rather than having to worry about fixing supper. Or what about that jar of Valentine's Reese's I moved out of reach so I would stop eating one every time I walked by?

Okay, so maybe I struggle with this food craving stuff more than I was willing to admit. But do I really crave it more than God?

That got me thinking more about my stress. How do I handle my stress? What are my coping mechanisms? Prayer? More time in God's Word?

I wish. The truth is I know that is where I should turn, but it's not what I usually turn to.

So what do I turn to? Usually it's really helpful things like:

the TV (only clean and appropriate shows of course)

the Internet (pinterest, facebook, email-my connection to the world)

Home Decor (full fledged diy-ing)

Shopping (only frugally of course)

I think you get the idea. Obviously these are incredibly helpful solutions to my stress-related problems. Not.

Actually they are more just a waste of time. Actually, most of the time, I am just procrastinating in dealing with or trying to escape what's really bothering me.

Of course, none of these things are necessarily negative on their own, but when used as a means of escape, they become habit. And habits eventually lead to cravings.

I need some Pinterest time to get my creative juices flowing (and stop thinking about this other problem)

I need to go shopping so I can have some me time. (and stop thinking about this other problem)

I need to watch tv can so I can unwind. (and stop thinking about this other problem)

I can say speaking from experience, these things don't make me less stressed. They don't bring me peace. Really, most of the time, they are just a waste of time.

That's the battle for me. Trying to replace things time with God with things like tv, shopping, or Pinterest. Again, not bad in and of themselves, but a really poor substitute when used to replace what I am really seeking.

I may not still be totally on board with this study, but I know I need it. And I know I'll learn from it. Because I am "Made to Crave," and I'm know I'm trying to satisfy my cravings with a lot of things that are never going to satisfy.

Yep, I think I'll press on and stick with it. Because I do want to learn to "satisfy my deepest desire with God, not food"....or anything else for that matter.  And the things that are hardest to stick with are sometimes the things we need the most.