Made to Crave: A Raging Battle

First of all, I have to start with a confession:

I am so not motivated to do this study.

I have participated in 2 other online bible studies with Proverbs 31 but this time around I'm just not into it. It started Sunday/Monday and although I followed along on the blog, by Tuesday I was already way behind.

At first I didn't think food was really a struggle for me. I'm not really in the need to lose weight category (at least not at the moment), so I figured I would just focus on other *cravings* I might struggle with.

Then the stress level started climbing. I started to notice how I would think about grabbing some ice cream, or eating out tonight rather than having to worry about fixing supper. Or what about that jar of Valentine's Reese's I moved out of reach so I would stop eating one every time I walked by?

Okay, so maybe I struggle with this food craving stuff more than I was willing to admit. But do I really crave it more than God?

That got me thinking more about my stress. How do I handle my stress? What are my coping mechanisms? Prayer? More time in God's Word?

I wish. The truth is I know that is where I should turn, but it's not what I usually turn to.

So what do I turn to? Usually it's really helpful things like:

the TV (only clean and appropriate shows of course)

the Internet (pinterest, facebook, email-my connection to the world)

Home Decor (full fledged diy-ing)

Shopping (only frugally of course)

I think you get the idea. Obviously these are incredibly helpful solutions to my stress-related problems. Not.

Actually they are more just a waste of time. Actually, most of the time, I am just procrastinating in dealing with or trying to escape what's really bothering me.

Of course, none of these things are necessarily negative on their own, but when used as a means of escape, they become habit. And habits eventually lead to cravings.

I need some Pinterest time to get my creative juices flowing (and stop thinking about this other problem)

I need to go shopping so I can have some me time. (and stop thinking about this other problem)

I need to watch tv can so I can unwind. (and stop thinking about this other problem)

I can say speaking from experience, these things don't make me less stressed. They don't bring me peace. Really, most of the time, they are just a waste of time.

That's the battle for me. Trying to replace things time with God with things like tv, shopping, or Pinterest. Again, not bad in and of themselves, but a really poor substitute when used to replace what I am really seeking.

I may not still be totally on board with this study, but I know I need it. And I know I'll learn from it. Because I am "Made to Crave," and I'm know I'm trying to satisfy my cravings with a lot of things that are never going to satisfy.

Yep, I think I'll press on and stick with it. Because I do want to learn to "satisfy my deepest desire with God, not food"....or anything else for that matter.  And the things that are hardest to stick with are sometimes the things we need the most.