Made to Crave: Determination

Today, I exercised.

Yep, on that ole' Craigslist elliptical machine my husband bought me a few years back.

It's been collecting dust for quite some time now.

As I think about it, I'm quite sure that it has never been used in this house, and we have lived here over a year. Before that, it was in storage for almost the same amount of time.

Suffice it to say, it's been awhile.

I had told myself it was fine, after all I was busy remodeling, painting, digging, carrying, sawing. I was working so hard that I even lost weight this summer.

But then came winter.

And it got really cold. And snowed. A lot.

And although I have not necessarily started gaining weight, I have started to feel pretty blah.

I'm tired

Wore out

Weary

STRESSED.

Ugh. That about sums up the feeling most days.

When I started this study I really didn't think I had a problem with eating. And I certainly didn't need exercise. I lost weight this summer!

I know exercise is good. And I know you're supposed to eat healthy, but truth be told, I've only turned to healthy eating and exercise as a way to lose weight. And since I lost weight rather than gained, I figured I'm good to go.

But you know what? I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired of feeling like I weigh way more than I do because I'm eating terribly. Just because I'm not gaining weight does not mean I'm good to go.

So, today, by the grace of God, I exercised. I'm not saying it's a total miracle that I finally decided to exercise, but I AM saying that it took a strength and a motivation other than my own to do it.

Do I suddenly feel full of energy and a zest for life? Not quite. It's going to take some perseverance. And it's going to take some serious discipline. And most importantly, it's going to take me relying on something, or better yet, on someone outside of myself.

This isn't about New Years resolutions, or quick weight loss schemes, or fitting into a pair of jeans. It's about feeling good. It's about being a good steward of not only my health, but of my time and energy. Because I just can't believe that feeling dilapidated and worn out all the time is God's good and perfect plan.

It's about being determined that I was made for more.