Made to Crave: Truth

Since this post starts off with the title, "Truth," let's just go ahead and dish out a little truth from this past week:

I didn't exercise for 4 days in a row.

I started out my afternoon snacking with healthy options. Then I was still hungry. So I ate a handful of tortilla chips. After all, it's just one handful. Then another. And another. Suddenly the bag was empty. Repeat with different foods on different days.

Then came the Couples Conference. Oh boy, should I even go here? It all started with forgetting to pack my husband a shirt.

He didn't think it was a big deal. He simply would just wear the one he had on. "Oh, no!" I thought. My husband will NOT wear the same shirt two days in a row in front of hundreds of couples. This is something I simply could not accept. It's all about appearances you know.

He gave me 10 minutes to get in and out of Kohls. Thankfully I succeeded.

I had the whole weekend mapped out. Where we would eat supper, how we could grab some ice cream, snacks and drinks for the room, etc etc etc. Before heading to our hotel, we stopped in and grabbed some Subway sandwiches to take with us.

So far so good.

My husband had suggested we could run through McD's to grab a pop (you know, the $1 any size thing). I thought he wanted one, he thought he would be nice and get me one. He pulled up to the ordering kiosk and confirmed, "Diet Coke, right?"

"Oh, no, I didn't want anything. I'm trying to cut back, and I just had a latte so no caffeine for me."

"So you don't want anything?"

"No, I'm good."

He whipped that car out of the drive up line faster than I could mutter, "I thought you wanted...?"

Once at the hotel, we settled in and ate our supper. We had a little time before the first session, and we weren't stuffed so we decided this would be an opportunity to grab some ice cream. We jumped in our car and headed across the street to ColdStone.

But as we approached, I noticed-ColdStone was dark. Like-there is no one there dark.

At this point we were both upset. We'd both been looking forward to ColdStone! How dare they be closed?!

I suggested we try McDonalds. I was met with the death stare.

We went anyway. He ordered his McFlurry, and I order mine. We pull up to the pick up window. The guy sticks his head out, "Uh, is it okay if one of them is...kind of...chocolate? Our vanilla isn't working now, so it's kind of like a twist. One of them is vanilla, but uh...."

Long story short-my husband does not like chocolate ice cream. Guess who's had the chocolate ice cream?

I say all this not to dwell on how petty we are, but to demonstrate: things don't always go as planned. And sometimes, that sends our best intentions out the window.

I planned to eat Subway. I planned (all week!) to treat ourselves to ColdStone. My husband and I would have a wonderful weekend getaway full of healthy choices and a controlled and deliberate ColdStone splurge.

Then, I waited until last minute to pack and forgot things (I forgot a lot more than the shirt by the way). Taken out of our normal element and routine-my husband and I misinterpreted, miscommunicated, and  almost missed out on enjoying our long anticipated weekend getaway.

Our best laid plans went out the window along with my self control. At the conference, there were red velvet cream cheese brownies at each table for everyone to enjoy. The tables were each set for 8 people, at ours there were only 4. There were enough brownies for each person to have one-they told us if we had extras to feel free and take one or two more.

We ended up with 4. By the next morning's session, I had consumed 2 and a half. Lest that not sound too indulgent, let me also share that each one was the size of my hand.

Here's what I think it all comes down to. The truth is, I use food for comfort. I may not be hugely overweight or anything, but I do lack self-discipline. I do lack self control. When my circumstances start to unwind-you can bet I'm looking for some ice cream.

At the conference, they presented the principle that your ability to thrive ultimately comes down to one thing: what you worship. You can worship one of two things: Christ, or an idol. Do we really need to identify the idol here?

I think it's about more than food. It's about worshiping myself. Getting what I want, when I want it so I can feel better. So I can feel good about something.

Rather than demonstrating discipline and control (which on my own are fairly difficult to grasp), I do whatever I want, when I want. In other words, I take the easy way. Rather than relying on prayer and Spirit filled submission, I choose the God of self.

There's so truth I don't really want to hear. But it's the truth I've apparently chosen. It's what fuels my behavior.

So here's my goal for this week. Choose healthy snacking options. I've already went to the store and stocked up so I won't be left searching.

Setting a goal to exercise 3-5 times per week. I actually DID exercise 3 times last week, but saw it as a failure because I missed 4 days in a row. I think not having the "I have to exercise every day" mentality will help keep my goal more reasonable and achievable.

It's Valentine's Day, so it's also a perfect opportunity to practice NOT setting up unreasonable expectations. I'm not going to run around all day trying to plan the perfect night so we can have a Pinterest perfect Valentine's Day. Because if it's anything like last weekend, it will surely fall apart at the seams when life happens and plans unravel.

And here's the verse that's inspiring me this week: "Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days." Ephesians 5:16. To me, that doesn't mean planning every moment and having everything in it's proper place. It means following God's leading every moment of every day and giving up on trying to go you own way.

Making good decisions.

Making wise, God-directed choices.

Not hurrying, and scurrying, and trying desperately to hold it all together.

It's letting his truth sink in. Letting his Spirit's power carry you. Being filled with him and his word so every step is a step toward what you were really made to crave.