Weekends in Married Life

I don't know what happened, but when I got married, weekends no longer became those long relaxing days for me to do whatever.

Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I married a man with rental property, cows, tractors and a house.

Sunday is usually a day we try to set aside to rest and relax. But this last Sunday was different.

One of our precious cows up and decided that she wanted to have a calf in February, and not only did she have it in February, but she decided to have it on one of the few days in February where it dropped down to zero. Thankfully, my Dad was able to take the calf and put it in the basement for a few days and it was fine.

For those of you that don't know, there are certain things that you usually do to a calf shortly after it is born. Some put tags in there ears, some give them shots, but Kev does this thing that I had never heard of in my life even though I grew up on a farm around plenty of newborn calves.

Now, I'm not going to go into detail, but let's just say its something that only needs to be done to the male calves and involves rubber bands. I'm sure you can put two and two together.

To do this so-called thing to the calf, first we have to catch it. That doesn't sound like that big of a deal, but when the cow and calf have well over 100 acres to run away from you on, it becomes a bit of a challenge.

So we suit up, throwing on our appropriate calf wrangling wear, and head out to hopefully catch ourselves a calf.

Thankfully, mom and calf happened to be not far from the feeding trough. Trying to be helpful, I told Kev he should let me drive while he runs around trying to catch it. :)

As we're driving and running around like a couple of crazy people (there were people nearby cutting some wood to watch us), finally he is able to catch it. As he's picking it up trying to get in into the back of the truck, its my job to climb in the back of the truck and sit on it so he can put it down. While he's back there, I sit on its front end and hold its leg so it can't flail about like a fish and pet its head and tell it its all going to be okay. We both know its not going to be okay.

Finally, Kev was able to get things taken care of and put him back down on the ground. At which point he realized the calf had had a couple of accidents. On him. I like being on the front end. :)

We actually lost the last calf we had, but not without a healthy level of "excitement" before we decided to give up. Let me correct that, before Kev decided to give up.

The calf was not nursing, so he thought it would be good if we could get the mom in and try to get it to nurse. As his dad says, "hook it up to the supper table."

So, after we got the cow in, he tried to get it to nurse. It was so weak it could hardly hold its head up, let alone nurse.

So what does Kev decide to do? He decides to try and milk the cow. Yes, that's right, I said milk the cow.

Now, usually this particular cow is pretty tame and will put up with a lot, but she was not about to put up with that. And I can't say I blame her.

After a few attempts, she decided to kick. And then she kicked more. And harder. And then Kev got mad. And gave her a good smack. And guess what? That for some reason didn't make her stop.

Finally I couldn't take it anymore. I thought at any minute he was really going to get nailed, probably have internal bleeding, a concussion, a fracture, you know, all of those really bad things that are going to happen at any second.

So I started to respectfully-notice I said "respectfully"- voice my concern:

"Honey, I really wish you would stop trying to do that."

"I really don't think that's a good idea."

"I REALLY REALLY DON'T THINK THAT'S A GOOD IDEA!!!"

At some point he decided that it would be a good idea to try and lasso the cows foot so he could tie her back feet together. You get the logic-if you tie her feet together, she can't kick you anymore, right?

Let's just say he got one foot "lassoed". And then decided it wasn't such a good idea. Have you ever heard that men should always listen to their wives?

Finally after a fairly violent kicking fit, he was able to get it off. I'm pretty sure he ended up with a couple of bruises, but for what he was doing, that was minor. As far as I was concerned, that was a blessing considering that it could have been a collapsed lung from a direct blow to the chest.

Needless to say, this weekend hopefully won't be filled with quite as much excitement. We're supposed to go shopping for a new mattress. I have this fear that we are going to end up being one of "those" people that I keep seeing driving around with a mattress tied to the top of their car...